Chapter 43 – Dogs and Wolves

TL: Kay (rivulettranslations)

“What if you don’t like the amulet I choose?”

“That’s not possible.”

“You only say that because you don’t know what I’ll give you.”

“It doesn’t matter. Whatever it is, it’ll make me happy.”

He meant it.

There was no considerable difference in any objects.

The man, who lacked nothing, was already full of things.

The only thing that mattered was how much Alicia thought about him while she chose it.

Because the man always wanted the lady’s small head to be filled with thoughts of him.

Cabellenus gulped down his hidden intentions with wine.

“If so, I’ll keep thinking.”

The slightly heated cheeks looked so lovely he wanted to take a bite.

Cabellenus reached out and touched Alicia’s lips.

Alicia was startled and opened her eyes wide. She looked at Cabellenus, but the man pretended not to see.

“There was some sauce.”

Cabellenus gently wiped his hands on the napkin.

“If you told me, I would have wiped it.”

Alicia turned her head in an awkward gesture, covering her mouth with her hands.

“I’ll do that next time.”

The corners of Cabellenus’s mouth sneaked up as he glanced at Alicia, who flushed red like a ripe apple during the harvest season.

Although there was no sauce, it was difficult to notice the lie from a man who appeared nonchalant.

“By the way, how long are you going to refer to me by my honorific title?”

Before Alicia knew the truth, it wasn’t hard for Cabellenus to divert her attention.

Even though he had spent many years on the battlefield, he was an imperial family member.

He was familiar with the social culture – he just had not revealed it.

It was not difficult to lie with a relaxed face.

“Well, Your Grace told me…….”

“Habits are difficult to change, so you better practice consistently. The sooner you start, the better.”

“Well, that’s…….”

Alicia’s face, which had been dyed red, was now white.

Even if she understood what Cabellenus was asking for, she couldn’t bring herself to nod.

“I think you can talk to me casually now.”

“…….”

“If not, do you prefer to use honorifics in a respectful sense, my lady?”

Alicia’s eyes widened in surprise.

She was so surprised that her mind turned blank and she couldn’t speak at all.

“What are you so surprised about?”

“…….”

“If you don’t want to speak casually, I can just speak formally instead.”

Unlike Cabellenus, who spoke calmly, Alicia trembled as if she had heard something she wasn’t supposed to hear.

Cabellenus wasn’t just anyone, so it was awkward and unfamiliar to hear him speak like that.

He was a man fit to reign from above.

“……Ha, don’t do that.”

In the end, Alicia barely managed to squeeze her voice out.

However, the man with a mischievous smile seemed to have no intention of stopping.

“What do you mean, my lady?”

“Well, you’re speaking formally to me.”

“If you want something from your opponent, you have to satisfy them, my wife.”

Wife.

The low, buzzing voice was small, but the impact of the word was large.

Alicia twisted her lips as she looked at the laid-back man.

Unlike her, the man was too skilled.

When she noticed that fact, her feelings suddenly subsided.

“We’re not married yet.”

“It will happen in no time.”

Otherwise, he was afraid all his patience would dry out.

Cabellenus maintained his expression and swallowed back the words.

For the nobles, premarital relations were not honourable.

It was too late to find honour now, but there was no reason to continue to create flaws.

The nobles valued what they could see, and the more plausible they looked, the easier it was to integrate into their social circles.

“Get used to it. It will be natural in the future.”

“……Your Grace must be familiar with this kind of thing.”

“Rather than being familiar…….”

When he noticed Alicia’s darkened expression, he stopped speaking.

“……I guess you don’t like this.”

Perhaps he went too far.

Cabellenus’s eyes slightly hardened.

Alicia glanced at Cabellenus, blinked for a moment, and then nodded.

“I don’t like it.”

“…….”

His heart sank at the firm voice.

But unlike Cabellenus, Alicia’s lips did not stop moving.

“Since you’re skilled at it, you must’ve done it to other people. I don’t like that.”

“…….”

“I know it’s impossible, but I wanted to be Your Grace’s first.”

Just like how it was for her.

Alicia quietly muttered under her breath, fidgeting with her fingers.

After much consideration, Alicia mustered the courage to raise her head. However, when she saw his hardened face, she became anxious about whether she did the right thing.

“……It’s my first time.”

“Pardon?”

“It’s my first time, too. With you.”

Where did she learn to provoke him?

Cabellenus pressed his forehead and released a suppressed breath.

He was dumbfounded at every word the woman, who was much smaller than him, said, but once he came to his senses, he was confident that he heard her correctly.

“The person I want to embrace, the person I want as my wife, and the person I care about. You are the first.”

“Ah…….”

“I feel a little better now.”

Cabellenus chuckled dejectedly.

He couldn’t stop laughing even though he knew he was doing something stupid.

“I didn’t expect you to be jealous.”

“……It’s mine now.”

“Yours?”

“Yes.”

Alicia clenched her fists a little more tightly.

Never in her life had she grasped what she wanted.

Because whatever she wanted always broke and disappeared, she tried not to have any desires at all.

But, not anymore.

She could have what she wanted.

It was her first time, so it was still nerve-wracking and strange, but she had no intentions of giving up.

She was going to, somehow, hold onto his hand and never let go.

“Your Grace is mine.”

It was a gaze filled with ambition.

Cabellenus reflexively exhaled.

Alicia, who stubbornly raised her head and held it high, was no different from a child recklessly claiming ownership over something they first found.

Nevertheless, his back felt chills, and his mouth was dry.

(rivulettranslations)

He thought greed was a word that didn’t go well with Alicia, but it seemed necessary to correct it from now on.

The grey eyes filled with greed suited her much better than the dull gaze that desired nothing.

The man was insanely happy about that fact.

After all, greed ultimately began in oneself.

He knew that the desires would become shackles and hold the small woman by his side.

“I never thought I’d be claimed by someone ever in my life.”

Cabellenus swept his hair with a wry smile.

He didn’t know whether to be thankful or sorry for the fact that he was familiar with suppressing his instincts.

“Ah, but now you can’t take it back now.”

Even with a timid face, she said it well.

No, in the first place, it wasn’t right to label her as “timid” anymore.

“My lady is not weak.”

Cabellenus frowned, recalling Mrs Morco’s words.

In retrospect, Alicia had always been like that.

She looked as if she was on the verge of collapsing at any moment, even though she eventually was able to endure it despite her delicate condition.

‘If the environment she grew up in was different…….’

The past was irreversible.

It was pointless to assume what else would have happened now.

Nevertheless, Cabellenus still thought about it.

He wished she had grown up in a better environment and treated appropriately.

“It’s impossible.”

Of course, it was contradictory, but he found relief in the thought that she was still like an unprocessed gemstone.

Cabellenus reached out and covered the back of Alicia’s strained hands with his.

Her hand was small enough for him to hold both hands with one hand, but he didn’t think she was as weak as before.

“Never let go. No matter what happens, hold on tight. It’s a promise you must keep.”

Cabellenus’s eyes sparkled.

If she wanted to own it, he would give it to her.

No, it was better that way.

As long as he followed Alicia’s request, he would at least not ruin her with his own hands.

It wasn’t that difficult to voluntarily wear a leash and pretend to be a disciplined dog.

Even so, the essence would not change.

Although their appearance looked similar, in the end, wolves were wolves, and dogs were only dogs.

Even if it wore a leash, a wolf couldn’t become a dog.

Despite understanding that fact, the man pretended not to know and strengthened his grip.

* * *

“You look happy today, my lady.”

“It’s because His Grace came here today.”

“You must have had a good time.”

“Yes. I enjoyed it.”

Mrs Morco widened her eyes slightly and soon laughed.

The experienced old lady quickly noticed that Alicia had a change of heart.

“Now it’s time to adjust the class schedule.”

A satisfied smile hung on Mrs Morco’s lips.

It was still awkward for Alicia to act casually, but it didn’t matter.

Alicia was persistent.

Sooner or later, she would get used to speaking casually, and she would look like a superior.

“There’s a lot to learn, so we have to hurry and prepare. I have many things I want to teach you.”

“……Mrs Morco, is it okay for me to become the Grand Duchess?”

While she was grateful for Mrs Morco, who continuously supported her, she was worried at the same time.

Alicia looked up at Mrs Morco with rather anxious eyes.

“Of course.”

Contrary to Alicia’s worries, Mrs Morco nodded without hesitation.

“Aren’t you answering too easily?”

“I haven’t been with you for a long time, but you have never disappointed me. You’ve always done well.”

“It was something anyone could do. Mrs Morco taught me well.”

Alicia laughed awkwardly.

She was aware of it, but it was still awkward to speak informally to Mrs Morco.

“There’s a difference between being able to do something and actually doing it. Many people don’t do what they can. They often procrastinate and avoid work using all kinds of excuses. Even more so, if it’s something that feels difficult.”

“…….”

“My lady. Straighten your shoulders. It’s amazing enough to try your best in a given task. And, in my experience, people like that have never let me down. That’s all.”

“……Thank you.”

Alicia’s expression became more relaxed from the comforting pats on her shoulder.

Mrs Morco’s support for Alicia was a great strength.

“It’s my duty to take care of my lady.”

“I will do my best. I may not be good enough now, but I will try really hard.”

“I’m glad to hear that, but for now, please withdraw your passion for the time being.”

Mrs Morco smiled as she saw Alicia burning with determination.

Whenever she saw Alicia, she couldn’t help but feel like she was watching sprouts growing up day by day.

“Now? What do you mean?”

“Studying is necessary, but I believe it would be best to check it out first.”

“What do you need to check?”

Mrs Morco agonized for a moment when she saw her innocent eyes.

As Alicia did not grow up in a typical environment, Mrs Morco did not know the extent of her common sense.

That was why she worried whether or not she should tell Alicia about her suspicion of pregnancy.

However, it was impossible to hide it forever.

Even if it wasn’t visible because it was in the early days, it would inevitably be noticeable once the belly started to swell, and above all, Alicia was the party that would bear the child.

Alicia had the right to know.

“It’s my guess, but the symptoms you’ve recently shown are similar to those seen during early pregnancy. I think it’s better to check it out. What do you think?”

“……What did you just say?”

Alicia frowned reflexively.

She heard it,  but she couldn’t understand what Mrs Morco was saying.

“Pregnant.”

“Say it again.”

Alicia urged.

“There may be a child in your belly.”

Alicia’s pupils rapidly shook.

Mrs Morco repeatedly told her that she might be pregnant, but it was hard to accept.

It felt like she was listening to an unfamiliar language that was utterly unknown to her.

“You must be very surprised.”

Mrs Morco took Alicia’s hand and patted it gently.

Alicia’s face was pale as if she in great shock.

“No, I…….”

Alicia couldn’t go on and lowered her head.

She looked at her belly straight away.

But that was all.

No matter how much she looked at it, she couldn’t find any traces of the child with the naked eye.

“Do I really have a child?”

“I’m not sure, but I speak based on my experience and opinion. When I had my child, I had similar symptoms to my lady.”

“…….”

“Are you worried?”

Instead of answering, Alicia nodded.

She should rejoice at the birth of a new life, but her mind was full of complicated thoughts.

She had all kinds of ideas and reasons, but in the end, only one thought remained.

Alicia wrapped her arms around her belly.