Crimson Karma - Chapter 20

In order not to let go of the dress pile in her bosom, she turned her body over. After the impact of her body falling on to the ground, she regained her senses and saw the earth floor before her eyes. But it was silent around her.

When she raised her head she was confronted with gazes of awe struck  Zich and Michael and the pale looking Tasel.

Kasia staggered up from the floor without saying any word. She went to the large table in the tent and gently put the dress pile on it as she assembled the scattered bones.

Michael asked with a barely squeezed out vice. “.…. Dame Kasia, what is that? It’s not right? No way, that…. It’s not Her majesty right?”

Kasia without giving an answer just concentrated on assembling the bones.

“Say that it’s not true! Kasia! You! Its not , right!”

Michael rushed towards the silent Kasia and pulled her around by grabbing her shoulder. He roared with reddish eyes. Though he sounded angry, in truth it was a cry.

Kasia lowered her head as if she did something wrong. The mission was a failure.

“You…. it’s not. You got wrong. There was an information meanwhile that the quarters of Her Majesty was changed. So you must have mistaken.”

Michael only then barely came out of the state of denying the reality.

“.…… I heard it from Tula of Pien. And I was also able to infiltrate into the top of the East tower she mentioned, but…… In the corner of the locked room at the top floor of the tower , there was only a skeleton laid there.”

Michael still held onto Kasia’s shoulder with both his hands , but his breath became rough. Though her shoulder held by Michael hurts, she endured without making any noise.

“Michael, Let go off Dame Kasia.” (Remove your hands from Dame Kasia)

Tasel opened his mouth. Though he sounded resonant like always, it was weak as if he lost his soul.

Tasel slowly walked towards the table step by step.

“.… This is my mother’s dress. There was… only a few dresses, so I know all of my mother’s…. dresses.”

After saying that he tightly closed his lips and approached the body. He lightly ran his fingers over the water stained dress.

The interior of the tent was sunk in silence.

Tasel who was silently looking at the skeleton over the table, gently patted that dress which became the only keep sake of his beloved mother. The appearance of his mother, wearing this same dress seeing him off when he set off for the battle was still fresh in his memory.

Though she was not glamorous, she was as lovely as Myosotis (Forget-me-not). If she was just a daughter of an ordinary aristocrat , she would have been able to enjoy the love of her husband. How can there be any moment of happiness or joy in the life of a daughter born in royalty.

Tasel eyes stuck onto the hole in the upper part of the dress and the bloodstain trailing down from there.

Zich and Michael who stood beside him were also the same. Tears had already begun to flow out from Michael’s eyes.

Kasia thoroughly observed the skeleton she hugged in her bosom. The woman’s height was not much and looking at the bones, she seems rather skinny too.

‘A suicide or a murder.’

Looking at the size of the tear(hole) in the dress, it must be a knife as narrow as a dagger. It can be that someone hid a knife in his bosom and stabbed her when they were left alone, or it can be also that she stabbed herself. Even if she stabbed herself, the possibility of forcing her to die also can’t be omitted.

At that moment she realized that a part of the neckline is strangely inclined. As soon as Kasia put her hand on that part, Zich roared at her saying “What are you doing!” but Tasel stopped him by raising his hands.

“Here.. it’s a bit strange.”

Tasel came close to Kasia and touched the part pointed by Kasia.

“There is something inside the stitches/cloth.”

Kasia took out a small knife and handed it to Tasel. Tasel slowly and carefully cut the stitches of the dress. Inside there was a small piece of paper scribbled with something.

“T…..This….”

Without minding the stuttering Zich, with a rustle Tasel unfolded the paper. Something held inside the paper fell into the floor. That was a small ring.

“.…. This looks like my mother’s will.”

Tasel carefully put down the paper after scrutinizing the paper for a while. Kasia who stood beside him was able to see the content of the paper.

Tasel, I am not even sure whether you will get this letter, if you was able to find this letter then please forgive this mother for going ahead. I was able to endure all those tortures and humiliations, but I can’t put up with a life where I became a bait to endanger my child’s life. I pray that the new of my death can reach you as soon as possible so that you can have a life. I love, Tasel. You was the only light in my life.

The paper piece was too small for her to write much. At the end of the letter , a small signature was there. Seeing Tasel not speaking a word, he seems to understand the cause of her death. And the ring tightly held in Tasel’s hand is the keepsake of his mother.

Elena knew that her son’s life was endangered because of her. So she ended her life herself. And the Emperor , in order not to unleash the lash on his son, just left Elena’s body to rot without even arranging a proper funeral.

Who knows maybe he thought that, Tasel was going to die any way and its not a problem for not informing him about the death of his mother.

“Highness…..”

Zich went near Tasel and lightly put his hands on his shoulders.

Michael who was silently shedding tears all the while cried out aloud with a crackling sound as if he can’t hold on anymore.

“Even though we could find the mother’s body,to hold a funeral here is still impossible. Zich, please get me a small wooden coffin (box). Michael, you must know some good scenic spots in the Back mountain right? Mother should be ….. buried there.”

Towards the end, his voice was almost nasal, but still he held onto the tears and took a deep breath.

“Dame Kasia, you worked hard. At last I was able to meet with my mother only because of you. You must be tired, so just retire and take a good rest. I will give you an appropriate reward later.”

“If you don’t mind, I wish to follow Her Majesty in her last journey.”

After a while, Tasel, Kasia, Zich and Michael went out of the tent  towards the back mountains holding a small wooden box and 2 shovels. The mourning was too simple to call it the last journey of a Queen of a nation.

They went up to the rocky top of the mountain (the place where Michael pulled Kasia to see the sun rise) and shoved a deep pit in the land. The box which held the skeleton and her dress was not very big, so it didn’t take much time to dig a pit. Tasel by himself dug the pit , laid his mother in it and covered it.

It was a simple tomb without even a burial mound. So they could only consider the large rocks on there as the tombstone for her, even though it was disappointing.

They stood on the rocks and looked down at the garrison, each engrossed in different thoughts, sadness and regrets of their own.

“Then from now on, what are you planning to do.”

Kasia asked towards Tasel.

“I am planning to go away (move/transfer/migrate) along with the people that want to follow me. The deputy commander Aslan will be responsible for the remaining.”

It was easy to say it, but it was certain that there would be contradictions among the Knights.

Most of the private soldiers might want to follow Tasel because of his Character, but for the noble knights, there will be many, thinking about their families in the empire unable to easily make any movement. Also it was for certain that the old knights of the Emperor’s faction will inform the emperor about Tasel’s betrayal with quick steps as soon as they make any move.

There is also the influence of the 1st prince still lurking among. It might be hard for the Emperor to directly order for Tasel’s death, but by any chance the Emperor and the first prince reached some sort of agreement as per the rumors, it’s unknown how many attacks he will face en route to the outskirts.

The people gathered in that place, thinking about the things gonna happen in the future, took a deep breath.  One part of Kasia thought that it was better for Queen Elena to die. Of course, she also pitied for her lost life.

In truth , for her to sympathize about Elena’s circumstance itself was a huge feat compared to Kasia Del Roman. Still Kasia was unable to leave behind the habits of her previous life, so her calculation that it’s better without Elena for Tasel’s action, naturally came into her mind.

‘It seems the process of becoming a human from a machine is very much chaotic.’

Kasia knew that in her previous life, others mentioned her as only a ‘Killing Machine’ , but she thought that there was no wrong in it. She didn’t feel any emotional pain when killing a person, acted according to orders, and always calculated her efficiency. So it became easy to handle her job.

But after waking up from death, she began to feel all sorts of emotions that she never felt in her previous life according to different circumstances. Though it gave her some joy as if she was turning into a human, on the contrary there was also ‘It’s not easy to handle the job’ within her.

Sometimes she will think about the afterlife she experienced before opening her eyes once again. The memories never ending murders and the pain it followed……

Even at that time she couldn’t understand any of those feelings, but after arriving in this world she felt like understanding those emotions bit by bit. So what the god really wants is her penance.

‘I still can’t understand it.’

Even though her previous life was quite abnormal she still mistook it even after living such a life. But it doesn’t seem that the murders she committed in her previous life is the reason why she opened her eyes in this world. If killing is a sin, then it will be impossible to find someone innocent in the battle field.

She thought that there must be a reason for the god to give her a second chance. So she made up her mind to live this life differently from her previous one. Learn emotions as a person, form relationships with others, treat the place where she eats, sleeps and wear as a place of love and life(concept of home), and to determine an aim of life that others call as ‘Dream’.

Maybe because it hadn’t been a long since Kasia changed from a Machine to a human, it was difficult to set her own standards. So she simply thought that she might be able to see her path if she follow Tasel, whom she considers to be the most upright of all.

“I will do my best to follow, if there is anything for me to do.”

Kasia said placidly to Tasel.

Tasel raised his head and measured up the emotionless doll like female knight in front of him. After regaining her health and sturdiness, though it was not, her body looked tough.

Those green eyes, devoid of any grief or hesitation, were asking him his next plan, but seeing that relentless eyes enough to be called pure, Tasel hesitated.

This female Knight without being bothered about the nature of the order, she will follow it as it is. Which was exactly the scariest aspect about her.