Hoping for My Death - Chapter 2

99 times.

That was the number of times Alisa has reincarnated.

– Alisa-nim!

In her first life, Alisa was a sorceress, a beacon of hope in the war between the demon race and the human race.

Everyone praised Alisa because she readily helped humanity and always stood on the frontlines against the demons.

War often broke out against the demons, but she was content.

She thought she should do anything to protect the people’s happiness.

Yes, anything.

– To completely stop this exhaustive war…We need to study the origin of the demon race.

Alisa wanted to end the drawn-out war with the demons in her lifetime.

There was a saying that if you know thy enemy and know yourself; in a hundred battles, you will never be defeated.

After she told people of her method for complete peace, she began to study the power of the demon race in earnest.

Demons called their power ‘darkness.’

The power to manipulate all dark and ominous things, such as death and the soul.

Alisa cut back on her sleep and eating as she devoted herself to the study of darkness.

If she can destroy the darkness that demons use, then there will be no reason left to fear them.

However, people felt anxious at Alyssa’s decision.

Alisa, an extraordinary prodigy and a wizard powerful enough to go down in history.

What if she studies the power of darkness and learns it completely?

And, what if she changes her mind and decides to harm humanity?

Would there be anything in this world that can stop her?

The answer to that was ‘no.’

– I’m sorry. Alisa-nim.

The day Alisa finally finished her research and learned a rudimentary way to control the power of darkness.

She was pushed by her trusted companions into the land Kelvetia.

– Why?

Under the bright red sky and darkness all around, Alisa sat on the ground of Kelvetia and muttered in anger.

– How come, why…?

What did she do wrong?

Was it when she ran to her companions with joy that the first step to finally destroying the darkness was completed?

Or was it when she drank the alcohol that her companions gave her as celebration without doubting them?

Or was it when she was put into the magic array that connected to Kelvetia and couldn’t even lift a finger to fight back because of the poison?

– I…

Did she make a mistake?

Her mind became chaotic at the dark emotions filling her head.

At the same time, it felt like her head had become liberated due to the extreme chaos.

While Alisa seemed to have lost her soul, the demons who caught her scent came running in surprise.

– A human?
– How the hell did it get here?
– Kill. Kill.
– Revenge!

Realizing that it was Alisa, someone who had blocked them on the frontlines time after time, the demons ran with excitement to kill her.

The fight lasted a long time.

Alisa confronted the demons who rushed at her and overcame death hundreds of times.

Funnily enough, in the process, the darkness that had just taken shape grew increasingly more sophisticated and huge.

For years and years without break, Alisa only had one thought while blowing the heads of the demons.

– I’m going to have my revenge.

Revenge against those who betrayed her. She, who had devoted everything to humanity.

Alisa desperately tried to survive the hell with the sole purpose of taking revenge against those who dropped her in Kelvetia.

And when she finally took the head of the demon Vasis and stood at the top of the demons.

Alisa wasn’t ‘Alisa’ anymore.

– Go, don’t leave a single human alive in this world!

In her madness, Alisa issued such a command and rushed directly into battle against the humans.

At that time, she was neither human in mind nor body.

Her whole body was always covered in blood and there was a wind of blood wherever she went as she massacred people.

Even her old companions who had betrayed her didn’t recognize her.

– Keuk!
– Run away…Argh!

Just as she had wished, Alisa reaped the lives of those who had betrayed her.

But she, who had already gone mad, immediately turned around to rid other lives without much emotion.

Over the next few years, the world was filled with nothing but human screams and the laughter of the devil.

Black lightning struck everywhere, and monsters crawled up endlessly through the cracks.

When people thought it was only a matter of time before humanity became extinct.

A man appeared.

He was the first person to have created ‘aura.’

Unlike magic, which moves mana through complex formulas,

It was the ability to create power by harnessing mana with only a sword.

A former mercenary who now led the fight against the demon race, people called him ‘Cleon the Hero.’

Humanity, led by Cleon, resisted the demons and regained hope.

Cleon, the strongest swordsman in history, and Alisa, the worst demon in history.

The long fight between the two ended when Cleon’s sword pierced Alisa’s heart.

– God damn it, human scum, you…

Alisa cursed Cleon on her last breath as she died with her eyes wide open.

Complete darkness.

At some point, her eyes opened with a moment of clarity.

-…What’s this?

When she looked around in confusion, what she saw was a blindingly white field covered in snow.

She tried to shift and look around, but couldn’t move because of the freezing cold that penetrated her bones.

Even though she was certain that she was dead, when she thought that she was going to die at this rate,

Suddenly, a blindingly bright light filled her view and a thunderous roar rang in her ears.

– Corrupt soul dyed with cursed power!

Alisa dropped reflexively to the ground at the pressure beyond words.

She couldn’t breathe as if someone had grabbed the back of her neck.

A series of loud shouts rang in her head as she gasped for breath.

– How dare you go against my will and take so many lives!
– For your sins, from now on, you will be trapped in the cycle of reincarnation and feel the weight of the lives you took!

After saying so, she lost consciousness again, and then as ‘God’ said, she reincarnated 99 times with all her memories intact.

She committed suicide several times at the beginning of her cursed life, but dying in such a manner didn’t count.

– Why do I have to go through this? It wasn’t me who betrayed them in the first place!

Anger at first.

– Please, I’m sorry. I will never do such a thing again. So please, please kill me…

And then frustration,

Fear,

Despair.

After 99 lives, Alisa’s hatred towards humanity for the betrayal and her will to take revenge against God gradually worn away.

At long last, when the long sentence was over and a new life began.

After Alisa was born and as soon as she realized her existence, she immediately tried to kill herself with magic.

However, in her head, like in the distant past, a ringing sound stopped her.

– If you try to take your own life thinking you’ll be freed, I’ll have you repeat the same punishment. Keep in mind that I’m always watching you.

In the end, Alisa couldn’t kill herself.

She thought she could wander outside and find a chance to die, but she thought God would punish her if God saw her behavior.

So following God’s will, she didn’t take her own life.

However, she won’t do anything either.

As soon as she realized she couldn’t die, the fatigue of having lived 99 lives hit her.

From her first life until now, not once has Alisa ever had a proper rest.

Also, it was the first time she has seen such a rich and peaceful place.

So Alisa chose to rest and didn’t do anything for the last 22 years.

The first taste of peace was very sweet, but still, she wanted to finish her last life as soon as possible.

– Marriage.

Time continued to move like so until Count Fleurette and his wife brought up the idea of marriage, which intrigued her.

Although she couldn’t die intentionally, there’s nothing God can say if she were to live in a dangerous place and suffer an unfortunate accident.

Presented with such an opportunity, Alisa decided to become Sylvia Fleurette Belfort.

* * *

Therefore, at the present.

Alisa, no, Sylvia’s husband, Randall Belfort was in turmoil.

‘What?’

Randall could swear that this was the first time he had met Sylvia.

She was Lady Fleurette, someone who has never left the Count’s estate since birth.

And to Randall, the Duke of Belfort, who has only traveled between the battlefield and the royal castle, was the last person he would ever meet.

‘So why…’

His transparent golden eyes reflected on the floor as soon as it bent in a fine line.

An unknown suffocating feeling fills a corner of his chest.

It was a complex mixture of emotions that could be called both longing and resentment.

“Shall we go in?”

As Randall remained silent for a long time with a confused look on his face, Sylvia said in a soft voice that the guests were waiting.

Only then did Randall come to his senses.

His alertness was replaced with vigilance.

‘I must have mistaken.’

Randall deliberately hardened his face to hide his agitation as reached out his right hand to support her.

Still, it was a bit of a surprise to him that he tried to keep his composure.

‘It’s too small.’

Sylvia’s hands were indeed too small.

He guessed that even the people of her age in the North where food is scarce wasn’t this small.

‘…Come to think of it, wasn’t there a rumor that says her constitution was weak?’

Randall walked alongside Sylvia among the speechless audiences as he discretely checked her figure.

Sylvia had a particularly slender figure, which made her walking in high heels precarious.

This was natural because she had been sleeping in her bed all this time except for light walks and eating only the minimal amount of food to live.

Randall, however, only knew that Sylvia had lived in the Count’s mansion this whole time, and had no idea of the particular details.

‘I’m going to have to feed her well from now on.’

It wasn’t enough for him to let his guard down, but he still felt sorry for her.

Randall looked at Sylvia with a slightly pitied look.

Feeling the gaze, Sylvia calmly thought.

‘…He has good eyes. It won’t be too much trouble as long as he fulfills his duties as a husband.’

Walking down the same path while thinking of very different ideas, the two reached the podium in time.

This marriage was suggested by the King himself, so he had prepared a royal wedding in return.

And since the King was personally involved, there was nothing not beautiful in the wedding hall, from the candlesticks, to the tapestries, to even the statues.

Belfort bowed forward with a seemingly satisfied look.

Ostern straightened Randall’s cape and retreated as he sneered inwardly.

Then, after a royal maid arranged the end of Sylvia’s veil and retreated, Randall and Sylvia raised their heads and looked ahead.

The King, the maker of today’s wedding, grinned as he approached a magic ball.

“I am truly happy to see the Duke of Belfort, the shield of Elvarez, and Lady Fleurette, the loyal servant of Elvarez, come together. I wish the Crown Prince could be present for this joyous occasion, but he’s currently on a subjugation in the South, so please excuse him.”

There were a lot of good-natured words afterwards from the King, but the main characters of the wedding were not interested.

Sylvia only had the thought of jumping into her bed right now, and Randall thought he’d have to look for ingredients to make healthy food when he returns to the North.

Soon, the ceremony passed in a blink of an eye.

Randall’s parents, the Grand Duke and his wife, were long gone, so it was only Count Fleurette and his wife who greeted the two.

“Hiik, hiik…”

“Stop.”

“Heup.”

When it comes to politics, Count Fleurette was cold enough to be called the ‘emotionless lion,’ but when it came to their daughter, he would often be scolded by his wife.

Randall became a little more confused when he saw the tearful Count.

An informat of the King?

Maybe not?

“With God as the witness, I hereby pronounce you husband and wife.”

Randall unconsciously put the ring on Sylvia’s finger as he was lost in thought about how long it would take to fatten her.

“…The bride and groom may now kiss.”

‘Ah.’

Only then did Randall come back to his senses.

He stared at Sylvia’s face who was a head shorter.

‘She’s 3 years younger than me.’

Looking back, he could see the guests from the Duchy of Belfort twitching their mouths.

They were faces of those that were bound to tease if they kissed openly here.

Randall was used to it, but he didn’t want his new bride to faint in shame, so with the thought of doing it halfheartedly, he leaned down.

A bouquet in her hand obscured their faces from the guests as he held Sylvia’s wrist with one hand and had his other arm around her neck.

Randall tilted his head slowly in consideration of Sylvia who widened her eyes in surprise.

Soon, their lips gently touched.

As soon as Randall felt her soft lips, he jerked his head back.

But the moment there was a small gap between their lips.

“Please open your mouth.”

A whisper so small and enough only for them to hear rang in his ears.

“What…”

As Randall slowly opened his lips to ask, Sylvia leaned slightly forward.

Then, their lips interlocked again.