I Thought I Didn’t Have Long To Live! - Chapter 33

Chapter 33 (I’ll just hold your hand)

Lariette opened her mouth with a smile on her face, pretending to be okay.

“I put a lot of purifying power today, so it will probably be more difficult to purify for a while.”

“Is that so.”

Asrazan also struggled to answer in a voice that was no different than usual. However, his shyness was evident in the way he couldn’t make eye contact with her.

“Yeah, so check it… Well, I can do it next time. ha ha ha…”

When the word ‘Check it’ came out of my mouth, embarrassment came again. It meant simply to check the state of the curse, but it was not as simple as it was because the part.

‘How can I check it?’

It was a curse on the upper body, so there was no big problem as he only had to take off the top. Occasionally, I saw the knights taking off their clothes during training, so it wasn’t a big embarrassment for men to be half-naked.

Of course, in the case of Asrazan, it was difficult for her to bear because his face and body were too her type.

Even if I finished purifying his upper body, how can I purify his lower body? Although it can be purified over clothes, touching bare skin was much more effective to make it quick and clear.

‘Pants… Should I take it off?’

The thought that followed naturally made Lariette’s face shriveled up in an instant. Even so, she couldn’t insist on Asrazan or the Duke of Kandel to take off his pants. Even the dare to think of this felt cheeky.

He was too shy to even kiss her. Take off your pants directly to Asrazan like that! It was so unreasonable that I even felt guilty.

Asrazan glanced at Lariette, and noticed her blushed cheeks, and dyed her ears red at the same time. He had already realized that she had all sorts of thoughts in that tiny little head.

‘What are you thinking this time?’

Asrazan tried to infer her thoughts with anxiety. It was clear that he intended to be ashamed of himself if he heard anything.

However, the reason he was anxious was that he was afraid that she might misunderstand the cursed state of his lower body.

In the case of the lower body, the curse was usually spread on the thigh. Fortunately, however, the most important part was that its function and appearance were intact.

What if she thinks there’s something wrong with that part that’s hard to mention? Worries dominated his mind.

As a result, Asrazan had to say something that would make it even more awkward.

“The area is fine.”

“Yes? what….”

“… I wonder if you’ll be misunderstood.”

She knew enough without even asking what that part was. Lariette felt so hot that she thought her face couldn’t get any hotter.

‘I know that! I’ve felt it!’

It didn’t feel like one or two times. The fact that he was in very good health even though he was under cursed was already known enough from many experiences.

She couldn’t stand the situation and bit the inside of her lip. I also closed my eyes tightly. Asrazan also turned his head, unable to meet her gaze, perhaps regretting what he had said.

“Hm, okay. Then I’ll just go for it today. Evening is….”

Lariette opened her mouth to escape this awkward moment. But her bad body seemed to want to make the situation even worse.

Growl—

A rooster-like sound rang out from Lariette’s stomach. Unable to bear the hunger, her stomach was screaming.

I’ve been starving for about a full day since last night, so it wasn’t unreasonable to hear the noise.

But why must it be now, at this time? Lariette bowed her head in shame. My cheeks were burning.

Asrazan asked in a very cautious manner so as not to shame her further.

“… Shall we start with dinner?”

“Yes….”

* * *

Lariette chewed good quality food and thought about the shame and embarrassment of the past. For that reason, she clenched her fork in the middle of the meal.

Asrazan was no exception. He wanted to kill himself just before he mentioned ‘that part’. His large hands were also full of power.

However, the difference was that Lariette’s fork was perfectly fine, while Asrazan’s was crumpled like a piece of paper. Because of that, Asrazan had to open, crumple, and unfold the fork several times over and over again.

Dinner ended in such an awkward atmosphere.

After saying goodnight to Asrazan, Lariette returned to her room and laid down in bed and recounted what had happened during the day.

From waking up at the Duke of Blanche, breaking a window, jumping off the second floor, kissing Asrazan deeply, receiving treatment from Doha, and finishing up the upper body purification.

It was unbelievable that it happened in one day.

First of all, when I think of what happened in the Duke of Blanche, my anger soared, but I was grateful for those who helped me. They were Anne and Master Joel.

‘It would be nice if I could bring them both to the Duke of Kandel.’

Lariette thought as she curled up on the bed. But that was not going to happen.

Anne and Master Joel need a paying job. Not only is it embarrassing to ask for employment at Duke Kandel, but even if they do, if they leave, their position will become ambiguous after that.

So, for them, staying in Duke Blanche was the best option. Although the Dukes and Duchess Blanche weren’t good parents for Lariette, they were all the more so because they were not too bad for their employers.

Suddenly, my heart broke. It wasn’t that my relationship with my family had gone bad at all. On the contrary, the fact was only a relief.

However, the bitterness came from remorse for her past self, who foolishly devoted herself to Blanche. I was so stupid that I didn’t even try to rebel until I knew I have a time limit.

‘In a way, I’m glad it’s the end of the day…’

If Anne had heard it, she would have been yelling, but Lariette was sincere.

Had she not been sentenced to death, she would still be enduring the role of an obedient princess in the Duke of Blanche.

Far from enjoying this sweet love affair with Asrazan, if she didn’t even know him, and she may have already married the Marquis of Segreb.

When I think of that ugly face, goosebumps all over my body. I would be a hundred times happier to die after enjoying life like this, even for a little while, than to continue such a terrible life.

“The problem is that I am so happy….”

Lariette sighed and muttered a little in the dark.

Yes, that was the problem, being so happy

It was really a problem that I hated dying because I was so happy. It’s getting harder and harder to leave him.

– I like you, Asrazan.

-So do I.

I remembered the confession I had made earlier on this bed where I was lying. The answer he had given came to mind as well, tickling my ear.

Obviously, it was just a three-month contract relationship. It was difficult to deepen my heart because the end of the relationship was set.

But today, when I jumped down from the second floor of the Duke of Blanche and fell into his arms. When he hugged and kissed me softly.

Lariette suddenly fell in love with him.

“Whew…”

She buried her face in the pillow and drew a sigh from the depths of her chest. Thinking of Asrazan’s friendly face made my heart tickle.

It wasn’t just because he was handsome. The kindness, the cuteness that seems unknown, and the jealousy that pretends not to be, but is subtle, made me laugh over and over again.

‘He’s handsome, but he’s kind and cute. This is a scam.’

Lariette patted the pillow with both hands alternately. I was angry because Asrazan was so cute. I can’t see him after 3 months, so it’s annoying that he’s so cute.

Later, I began to worry about the heartbreak. Fortunately, Asrahan’s response was not that deep.

When he said he liked it, I thought it would break my heart if he said that he wanted to put out the love in his mouth or increase his contract. However, Asrahan simply replied that he was not to that extent.

It was a very fortunate thing, but strangely, it hurt like a stab in my chest. It was an indescribable feeling.

‘Ugh, let’s go to sleep.’

The more I thought about it, the more I felt like I couldn’t sleep. Lariette closed her eyes tightly and tried not to think about anything.

But the more you try not to think, the more you think. Just as it becomes more uncomfortable if you pay attention to blinking your eyes and breathing.

In the end, after struggling for a long time, Lariette finally started to take a nap.

But not long after she fell asleep, a bright light leaked through the large window with a roar.

Craaak-!

Lariette jumped out of bed, startled by the sound of thunder in her ears. Her body was drenched in cold sweat.

“Hah, hah, ha…”

Her face turned white as if she had seen a ghost. The sound of her breath rumbled harshly between her thick lips.

Lariette hurriedly looked around. The Duke’s room, full of luxurious decorations, came into view.

Then she reached out and grabbed her cheek. It felt soft and soft to the touch.

After confirming that, Lariette took a deep breath with a relieved face. But still her thin body trembled slightly.

Is it because of the loud thunder? The ferocious face of Duke Blanche, who had previously slapped me on the cheek, was drawn in front of my eyes very clearly.

It was obviously finished well, and I got through it well, but I don’t know why my body was shaking and I was sweating so much.

Lariette took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. I forcibly closed my eyes and kept repeating, ‘It’s okay, it’s all over.’

Craaak!

But just as I was about to get a little better, the sound of thunder resounded in the eardrums. And the tremors that had subsided began again.

When I was with Asrazan earlier, I was suddenly so afraid of the darkness that had never been normal. It seemed as if the Duke of Blanche would suddenly come out of the dark again and slap my cheek. Even though I knew it was nonsense.

Lariette finally couldn’t shake the fear and got up from the bed. Then she moved without knowing where she was going.

It’s better than being alone in this darkness wherever you are.

* * *

As soon as Asrazan opened his eyes, what he did was grab the sword that was placed next to the bed.

It was a habit learned on the battlefield. If he feels a suspicious presence, immediately open his eyes and grab his sword. I had to do that in order to survive there as a young soldier.

The reason he opened his eyes was because he felt a small presence like a mouse somewhere. At first it felt quite far away, but it was steadily approaching his room.

It was a curious thing. First of all, there was no one big enough to dare to break into the Duke of Kandel’s mansion, and even if it was an insider’s employee, there was no way anyone could escape from his shadow surveillance and come to his room.

Asrazan drew out his sword with an expressionless face and carefully looked at the signs. As he woke up, he realized that something was strange.

First of all, the person approaching seemed to lack the heart to hide its presence in the first place, and was not even trained in gait at all. And the closer It got, the more familiar the shape it was.

‘……!’

Asrazan, noticing the presence of the owner, hurriedly put the sword back in. Then he quickly walked towards the door.

Bump!

I opened the door without hesitation and saw the face of the person I expected. Her face was much paler than usual.

“Lariette?”

Asrazan asked in a particularly low voice because he had woken up. But instead of annoyance, his face was full of worry.

Lariette forgot to answer for a moment and admired Asrazan’s waking state. The muscles that could be glimpsed through the gap in the shirt were still very good. The messy hair looked sexy too.

Illustration 

“What happened?”

Asrazan asked, adjusting his attire as if embarrassed. It was then that Lariette came to her senses and remembered the purpose of coming here.

“Uh, that’s….”

She couldn’t answer properly and bit her lip. It was because I was embarrassed to say that I was afraid to be alone because of the memories of the past.

“Come in. The hallways is cold.”

“Ah, thank you.”

Asrazan hurriedly led Lariette inside and sat her on a soft chair. Then he put the coat over her body, which was only wearing pajamas.

“Would you like some tea?”

“No, it’s okay, you don’t have to wake up a servant at this hour….”

“I’ll make it for you.”

He started preparing the tea without drying it. Her body felt so cold as she put the coat on, so her heart was impatient.

Teacup and tea leaves were already prepared in the room. Because sometimes he drink alone.

That’s why his posture in the tea was quite natural. Lariette opened her eyes and looked at what he was doing.

“Be careful it’s hot.”

Asrazan carefully handed the teacup and sat down next to Lariette. The fact that he was so close made her feel less afraid.

Lariette slowly drank tea and expressed her gratitude. Even though she came at this hour, he was very kind to treat me without any rebuke.

“… Are you sick?”

“It’s not like that. just…”

Lariette hesitated to answer again. I was very grateful for his concern, but I didn’t want to show my weakness.

Suddenly, lightning flashed through the window. It just happened that there was a good excuse.

“I’m afraid of the thunder.”

Lariette blatantly lied. It wasn’t a lie at all, because I was afraid that I would be reminded of that scene when I heard the thunder.

On the other hand, Asrazan had a slightly bewildered expression on his face. It was only because he knew for the first time that the sound of thunder could be frightening.

The only things he feared were the sudden attack of the enemy, the hunger due to lack of food, the situation of having to endure several hours in the icy water, and the increasingly rotting skin.

However, she said she was afraid, so Asrazan looked for a solution with a serious face.

“The earplugs and I will tell them to bring it.”

“No, it’s okay. Rather than the sound itself…”

Lariette rested her head on Asrazan’s reliable shoulder, who was sitting next to her, and continued.

“I think it’s scary to be alone.”

And at that moment, another big thunder rang out. Craak- bang! It was a loud noise as if the sky was about to fall.

Surprised by the unexpected sound, Lariette said that the sound itself was  scary, so she dug deep into Asrazan’s arms.

Even though she tried very hard not to do that, her body trembled again. And the face of Asrazan who discovered this darkened noticeably.

It looked familiar to him. The soldiers who went through the war for the first time were shaking like this.

The pupils trembling with anxiety, and the body trembling pathetic. It was the attitude of a person who was greatly shocked.

Asrazan bit his molars and swallowed the rising anger. I wanted to go to Blanche again right away and pluck out the eyes of those who personally assaulted her and cut off their limbs.

But he knew right away that it wasn’t what he was supposed to do now. So Asrazan just hugged her tightly.

Lariette stopped trembling after a while and raised her head down. The purple eyes staring at Asrazan were particularly soft.

“Asrazan…”

“Say it.”

Asrazan answered in the most friendly voice possible. It was meant to give her whatever she wanted.

“Can’t I sleep here?”

Because he still didn’t expect it to be such a demand.

Lariette added, looking pitifully at the stiff Asrazan.

“I’ll just hold your hand and sleep.”