If I Can’t Be Your Wife - Chapter 86
Chapter 86
After a while, Alexis walked out of the room who had lost its owner. Luci’s room was quiet as the child slept soundly without waking up.
Returning to the bedroom, he threw away his damp shirt with one hand. He was originally dressed in a new, white shirt, but it has been a long time since it had changed to dark red.
Blood still gushed out from the wound on his arm and shoulder that had been cut by the dagger. Alexis went into the bathroom, washed himself with water, pulled out a bandage from the cupboard, and wrapped the wound. He did not want to do anything cumbersome like calling a doctor and receiving treatment. He wouldn’t live long anyway.
But he didn’t want the child to know, so he put a bandage thick enough so that the blood would not seep out. Fortunately, he wore a dark shirt, so it looked normal.
He threw the ragged shirt into the trash and headed to the office. He was due to review Viscount Rylent’s report by today, which he had not had a chance to look at because he was busy attending court meetings.
As long as he was alive, he didn’t have to worry about earthquakes, but the local estates were still important to him. This was because, in addition to the construction and repair of the castles, it was necessary to secure a certain amount of tax revenue and open up trade exchanges to create a foundation for Luci.
Alexis didn’t want to let the boy later be forced into battle like him. Even if he couldn’t stay by his side until he was an adult, it would be helpful if he had enough money.
“Your Highness!”
But before he could turn a few pages of the report, uninvited visitors arrived.
“I heard that you were wounded in the Imperial Palace.”
Dr. Cavel and Edith came in with a doctor’s bag. Alsdorf was waiting by the door with an anxious expression on his face. Alexis looked down at the paperwork again and said.
“I don’t need it, go back.”
“But, Your Highness, if we do not treat it now, it might get worse. Right now, the bleeding has stopped and it seems okay, but when an infection occurs, it would be difficult to cure.”
“I’m sure I told you to go back.”
He couldn’t say more at the cold rejection. While Dr. Cavel was at a loss, Edith took the medicine and bandages, and then approached Alexis.
“If Your Highness is like this, I have no choice but to keep adjusting the concentration of the medicine I give to the Young Master.”
“What do you mean?”
His eyes grew sharp when she mentioned Luci.
“Weren’t you supposed to use undiluted Tassart solution?”
Edith said quietly.
“I didn’t. The Grand Duchess said to control the concentration.”
The quill in Alexis’ hand split in half. Edith continued, looking down at the report smeared with ink.
“It’s off topic, but I have to tell you this. Her Highness the Grand Duchess did not want Your Highness to die. At least, that’s how I saw it.”
“…….”
“Even if it is not the words of the Grand Duchess, I am the one who came here to heal His Highness. Though it is not poison, as a hired pharmacist, I can’t let my charge get worse this time because of a cut. Please forgive my impudence.”
As expected, he did not immediately reject it when Kathleen was mentioned. Edith quickly walked out of the office, beckoning the old butler and Dr. Cavel.
Alexis glanced down at the medicine on his desk and carefully reflected on what Edith had said.
She didn’t want me to die…….
He couldn’t guarantee that it was the truth, but he wanted to believe it. A faint smile crept across his lips. But the glimmer of hope soon disappeared.
‘That’s not it. She was going to take Luci to the north to get treatment from Joseph so there would be no need for the medicine.’
It was only a moment of sympathy, asking the medicine made from Tassart to be shared between him and Luci.
Even if he interpreted her words as he pleased, her true intention was not to wish him a healthy life.
Alexis put the vial aside and continued reviewing the report.
He stood up only after he had read the last page of the report. It was just about time for Luci to wake up. After making sure the bandages around his shoulder and arm were not stained with blood, he pulled out a green vial containing medicine from the drawer and grabbed it. It was the Tassart medicine that Edith had left a while ago.
He headed to Luci’s room.
“Dad!”
It was nice to see his father after a few days, so Luci came up to him and hung on his leg. Alexis smiled faintly and held his child up. He could now face Luci.
Shortly after the boy’s original face returned, he felt suffocated every time he saw his face. His heart ached at the thought of Kathleen, who had endured alone with the child in her womb, and he could not bear it. If this child had not inherited the pale blue eyes from his mother, it would have taken him longer to adapt to the child’s face.
“The medicine?”
He asked his nanny, making sure that Luci was well.
“I drank!”
But the answer came from the child.
“Dad told me to take my medicine.”
The child grew day by day and can now respond to most words. The nanny also answered Luci.
“You’re right. The young master does not complain and takes his medicine well everyday.”
“That’s good.”
He gently stroked the boy’s round head in his arms and then handed the vial to his nanny.
“Make sure to have him drink more according to his meal. The more often he takes it, the faster he will get better.”
“Yes, Your Highness.”
The nanny received the vial without question. She didn’t seem to think it was strange even though she always received it from Edith.
Alexis spent the late afternoon reading to the child. A few days ago, he realized belatedly that Luci had no books to read. He ordered children’s picture books then and they have now arrived. Luci was unfamiliar at first, but soon fell in love with the new pastime.
After a while, Luci, who sat on Alexis’ lap and looked at the strange illustrations, begged with twinkling eyes.
“Please read again.”
He shouldn’t be late for his meal in order to take his medicine. Alexis spoke as softly as possible.
“No. We have to eat dinner now.”
“I want to see more.”
“I’ll read it to you again next time.”
As he soothed the child, he put the book away and got off the sofa. Luci, with his mouth pouting, suddenly thought of something and asked.
“Then can I ask mom to read it when she comes?”
“What?”
His heart sank. Hearing Kathleen come out of their young son’s mouth was bewildering. Come to think of it, Luci had never asked him about his mother’s absence.
Blinking at his nanny, she shook her head with a bluish look on her face. This meant that she had not said anything about Kathleen’s death, as he had ordered.
He was still a child, so why didn’t he think it was strange for him not to look for his mother…….
Alexis resented himself for being insensitive and chose his words carefully.
“……It would be difficult for her to read the book to Luci.”
“It’s okay. I can wait. Mom is coming to see Luci.”
It was difficult to push the harsh reality on his hopeful face with the natural belief that his mother would return to him. He pondered if he should let the child live with expectations, or if he should tell the truth in the first place.
But he couldn’t really come to a conclusion as to how he could keep the child from getting hurt. Alexis finally opened his mouth, thinking that he had no choice but to tell the truth.
“Luci.”
Alexis said quietly, holding his child’s hands together.
“Some time is needed for mom to come back. Mom is having a hard time because dad did something wrong to mom. Dad wants to bring mom back, but…… Luci may have to wait a very long time.”
“Did mom go on a trip to the snowy mountain?”
Luci, who seemed to remember Carmine, asked with his eyes wide open. Maybe that’s what Emily told him. Alexis nodded slowly.
“Yes. But she might like it there more than here, so if she says she won’t come…… then you can go there later. Mom will love it if you go.”
“No.”
Luci rarely shook his head. It was surprising because he usually wouldn’t be stubborn or say he doesn’t like something. Alexis lowered his body and made eye contact with the child to comfort him.
“You’re going to see mom in a carriage. You’ll bring snacks and go north with flowers for mom. Then Luci will read a book to mom and she will like it. Then dad will take you home…….”
“Go too, Dad.”
“Hm?”
“Dad, go to Mom with Luci too.”
“…….”
“Mom likes Dad too.”
The talking child, blinking his light blue eyes, smiled softly, not doubting his father at all. His neck stiffened and his eyes welled up. Alexis hugged his little son.
“Dad?”
“……Yes. Let’s go together.”
Even if they found her body and made a tomb, he didn’t have the courage to go in front of it. If her soul was there, she might find it terrifying and even disgusting for him to visit her.…… Still, if he was with the child, even if he went at least once from a distance, he might still be allowed.
“Let’s go together.”
Alexis comforted the child and fed him dinner. Fortunately, Luci didn’t bring up his mother any more.
He returned to the bedroom alone. As he was about to lie down on the bed, he felt wet and took off his jacket, and found that the bandages were all soaked in blood.
As he took off the bandages, blood was dripping from his shoulder as well as the wounds he had sustained on his chest a few months ago that had not yet healed. The wound must have opened due to his intense movements.
Alexis wiped the blood and put on new bandages to organize his thoughts.
Luci would have probably grown up a lot once they find her sleeping body in the frozen ground. If he was no longer alive by then, Alexis was going to ask to be buried there too.
He removed the tapestry from the wall and pulled out a document from the space behind it. It was a will with gold leaf trimmings and the upper part engraved with the Walten family pattern.
***
