If You Wish For Something Useless - Chapter 13

Chapter 13 – Useless Hope (2)

She rubbed her eyes, sipping her drink from the glass.

“Aren’t you going to drink, Brother?”

“Uh?”

“Ah, do you want to drink from the bottle?”

As soon as he realized she was pretty good at drinking, Ethan hurriedly grabbed a cup from the table. His face was already stained with remorse.

He might be regretting having told Evelyn that he would teach her how to drink.

‘You don’t have to learn from anyone.’

Shaking her head while Ethan was filling a cup, Evelyn emptied her glass first. At that, Ethan let out a shriek and waved one hand in the air. The other hand was still holding the bottle of wine on his side.

“Evelyn, if you drink so fast…”

“Yes?”

“You’ll get drunk…”

Evelyn laughed at his worries.

“Isn’t alcohol meant to be drunk? At the banquet, I saw a lot of people crawling around half-conscious.”

‘What’s the logic of not drinking too quickly because you’re going to get drunk while drinking?’

“Oh… it’s just… umm… you don’t drink to get drunk… It’s not good to learn from people who can’t control themselves and drink too much. It’s bad for your health, and…”

‘Did she calm down because she feels embarrassed?’

Ethan was correct, he always said the right thing. As if dazed, Evelyn got up from her seat while listening to every word.

“Then I can take this opportunity to check my drinking capacity.”

Her target was to reach for the bottle Ethan held by his side as if his life depended on it. That was Evelyn’s favorite beverage to begin with, so she wanted to drink it first.

Ethan pulled it back hastily as Evelyn leaned over the table and managed to grab the neck of the bottle. As a result, the bottle escaped Evelyn’s hand. Her beautiful eyebrows fluttered in dissatisfaction. She waited for a while, but Ethan seemed to have no intention of handing over the bottle on his own so she retreated temporarily and stood still.

Moments later, Evelyn placed one knee on the table. It was to lean deeper than before, that way, it would be easy to hold onto the bottle Ethan had kept away from her. Afterward, there was a brief confrontation between Evelyn, trying to take the bottle, and Ethan, keeping the bottle.

The reason their confrontation was short was simple: As soon as Evelyn stared at him with her eyes wide open, Ethan lost strength in his hands. Thus Evelyn was able to achieve her goal.

“I want to do everything you want.”

Keeping his word or not, despite his apparent reluctance, Ethan couldn’t actively stop her. Thanks to this, Evelyn was able to drink well.

Every time she drained her glass, Ethan flinched with his hand fluttering in the air, but… that was it. He didn’t do anything else.

Unlike Ethan’s glass, which showed no sign of emptying, Evelyn’s glass emptied and filled over and over again. When the first bottle of liquor had already reached its bottom, and the second bottle was halfway full, Ethan shook the empty dead soldier as he gazed dumbfounded.

“Hmm…” Evelyn looked at him and rubbed her eyes.

“You… drink well… Father… No, I mean… you resemble the Grand Duke…”

Alternating his focus from the empty bottle to Evelyn with a confused expression, Ethan’s face turned quizzical.

“Are you okay?”

With a worried countenance, he drew closer and waved his hand in front of Evelyn’s eyes.

“I’m drunk. So drunk I feel good.”

“…”

“I think I won’t dream.”

Her voice was so low that one could not hear it unless listening closely. Ethan, who managed to understand her words, muttered.

“From what I see, I think you have a stronger drinking capacity than me. Do I have to worry about you making trouble after drinking…?”

Stretching sluggishly, drunken Evelyn smiled. She reached a hand towards him first, who always reached out to her warmly.

Drunk Evelyn became more candid than usual. Crawling over the table, she burrowed into Ethan’s arms.

“Ummm…!”

Startled, Ethan pressed his body against the sofa. How could he escape from there, fast?

Sitting on Ethan’s lap, she wiggled to find a comfortable position.

“Ughk!”

Ethan’s arms were warm. It felt like she was completely engulfed in the kindness he usually gave her. She liked the sensation.

“You’re not going, are you…?”

Ethan’s body twitched and trembled unknowingly at the question she mumbled.

“Mh?”

Now that she was clinging to the warmth she had longed for that had filled her with hope, she wanted to hear it again even though she had heard the answer several times. He had no idea how sweet that one word that goes against the original work was.

When she lifted her hazy gaze, she saw Ethan had stiffened as if in bewilderment. His hand wandered in the air, without pushing or pulling Evelyn as she sat on his lap.

“You’re not going to go to the hunting ground, right?”

Ethan nodded his head in response to the question he had already answered before.

“Ri… ght. Don’t even go near the hunting grounds.”

The reason why she wanted to cling to that promise was because she didn’t want to leave this place.

Leaning into his warmth, Evelyn felt she was sinking into warm water and her entire body relaxed in relief. However, Ethan froze.

Evelyn felt her consciousness fading and held Ethan’s collar tighter. As if afraid of losing that warmth, she held onto it with all her might.

Did she hate him for making her want something useless again or… She didn’t know.

* * * 

His mind went blank when he saw Evelyn crawling over the knee height table.

“Umm…!”

Startled, Ethan hurriedly moved back but was blocked by the back of the sofa, unable to go far. In the meantime, Evelyn had completely crossed the table and climbed onto his lap as if it was natural.

“Ughk!”

Bewildered by the sudden situation, Ethan made a sound as if he had run out of breath. That didn’t mean she went down his knees.

“E- Evelyn? Wa-wait, wh- what’s–”

“It’s warm…”

Her slurred and drowsy pronunciation and the smell of alcohol on her breath were reminders of Evelyn’s drunkness.

‘I didn’t think she was drunk because she was quite conscious of her state, but I was too gullible!’

“Ar- are you cold? Is it cold? Oh… a cover… oooh…”

Ethan, fumbling and replying, stiffened. Because Evelyn wrapped her arms around his helpless neck.

“Nngh!”

Was it because he was surprised by the close contact? Another strange sound came out of his mouth. At the same time, a flash of enlightenment came to him.

‘Her drinking habits are all messed up!’

The moment Ethan was shocked, Evelyn groaned, rubbing her cheek against the nape of his neck. Ethan had to swallow dry saliva.

She mumbled, but her pronunciation was so muffled that he couldn’t understand it.

“What did you say…?”

“You’re not going…?”

“Mh?”

Fortunately, when he asked, Evelyn’s pronunciation became clearer.

“You’re not going to go to the hunting ground, right?”

Again, and again. She was talking about the hunting grounds once more.

‘What’s the meaning of that place that makes you so worried about it?’

Ethan nodded his head recklessly without answering properly. It was a reflexive reaction, but that didn’t mean that he was not sincere in his actions.

“Ri… ght. Don’t even go near the hunting grounds.”

Whatever Evelyn wanted, he wanted to make it true. If her wish was for war, or if it required the sacrifice of others, he might struggle to answer but… Right now, it was just a matter of not walking around the hunting grounds. There was any reason why he couldn’t do that?

When Ethan made up his mind that he wouldn’t even look at the side of the hunting grounds in the future, Evelyn’s body began to sag in his arms. Hearing the sound of her even breathing, it looked like she had fallen asleep. At that moment, Ethan breathed a sigh of relief.

The fact that Evelyn was still on his lap didn’t change, but the fact that she was asleep eased his tension a little. And perhaps because of that, he moved his hand, which had been nervously wandering in the air, toward Evelyn. His movements were careful as he tidied her messy hair and cuddled and moved her body, which seemed uncomfortable.

“Mmm…”

‘Why are you so willing to rub your cheek against me as if touching something pleasant?’

It was as if a cat, who had been observing him from afar, keeping a sharp distance, approached him and rubbed its body against his legs.

Without realizing it, Ethan smiled and brushed Evelyn’s flushed cheek.

“This side is cute, too.”

Evelyn had a unique talent for embarrassing people, as he had experienced it himself; but as time passed, he felt that even that side of her was cute.

As Ethan’s brain was putting the puzzle pieces together, his forehead wrinkled.

‘You’ve been drinking before.’

It was hard not to notice after what he had just witnessed. It wasn’t her first time drinking.

‘Was it just curiosity?’ She was still too young to drink. If it was just curiosity, there wouldn’t be a big problem.

But, ‘what if there’s another reason I don’t know?’

“I think I won’t dream.”

Was it something related to what she said?

‘Maybe I’m thinking too much…’

Maybe she was just drunk and said meaningless things. But thinking so, Ethan came back to square one.

‘Why did Evelyn drink?’

Questions piled up, but the answers were nowhere to be found. Ethan looked at Evelyn, who had been sleeping for a while, then smiled softly.

“Sleep well.”

The self-contained Evelyn, who always drew a line and never opened her heart, fell asleep in his arms today.

It was enough for now.

‘Let’s not hurry. Aren’t we getting a little closer now?’

Slowly but steadily reducing the remaining distance, he will be able to hear it someday. What Evelyn had never told him before, and the reason why she drank alone.

Ethan chose patience over impatience and held his breath.

Afterward, he moved carefully and gently to rise from his seat and leave the office to carry her to her bedroom.

* * * 

Guided by a maid, Ethan arrived at Evelyn’s bedroom. Without realizing it, he swallowed dry.

It was his first time entering a woman’s bedroom since he was able to discern the opposite sex, so he couldn’t help but be nervous.

Ethan took a deep breath as he struggled to compose himself. It wasn’t a woman’s, it was his sister’s bedroom.

Although he stiffened slightly when passing through the door opened by the maid, he succeeded in entering.

“Huuuu…”

Without realizing it, Ethan sighed heavily and walked toward the bed. Only then could Evelyn, cradled in his arms, lie down comfortably.

He immediately turned to leave the bedroom. Even if it was the bedroom of his own blood and flesh, it was still too late at night to be there.

About to leave the bedroom in a hurry, Ethan stopped unconsciously and looked behind him.

It felt as if the sleeping Evelyn had grabbed him. Her hands were spread on the bed, but… why?

Hesitating because of the strange feeling, Ethan sat softly on the bed and slowly leaned over. Kissing Evelyn’s forehead, he whispered.

“Have a good dream.”

Since she was unconscious, he couldn’t dawdle any longer. Ethan walked out of Evelyn’s bedroom without stopping.

When he entered the hallway and looked back, the maid was closing the door. In Ethan’s eyes, the sight looked as if something large had shut his mouth.

He flinched a moment as he held his breath without realizing it. If he hadn’t stopped himself, he might have entered the bedroom again.

It was as if there was a thump, a soundless roar from the closed door.

‘The door is only closed, so why do you feel so bleak?’

Incapable of re-entering or leaving, Ethan stood there for a while, doing nothing.