If You Wish For Something Useless - Chapter 17

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Chapter 17 – Cracks (2)

“When she was a kid, she made a bunch of little fairy snowmen along the road. When it snowed a lot and they were covered, she pouted with her cheeks inflated like balloons, and made them again. This was the land of fairies…”

Thanks to the endless series of stories, Ethan’s heart swelled, and a pleasant sound echoed inside him.

“She used to play in the garden every day, but at some point, she stopped.”

He was curious about how Evelyn passed a time he couldn’t hear or see. Ethan listened to the gardener.

“You don’t know how surprised I was that the Princess got seriously injured around that time.”

“Hurt? You mean Evelyn was hurt?”

And it wasn’t long before he heard something he hadn’t expected at all. Ethan’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Yes, while learning the bow, the platform collapsed.”

“…”

“There were times when she fell off a horse, and there were times when she was hit by falling flower pots… Every time it happened, my heart sank wondering what had the Princess done wrong.”

‘Do you still carry the shock from that day?’ The complexion of the gardener recounting the past was pale.

“She is in good health now, so God helped.”

Ethan was dumbfounded because he heard something he had never imagined. He couldn’t believe Evelyn had been seriously injured. Often, on top of that. Of course, he couldn’t know since neither the Archduke nor Evelyn mentioned anything.

He felt bitter. The time he didn’t have with Evelyn was starting to become clearer. As Ethan’s expression twisted painfully, a person approached from the Castle.

“Young Master.”

Ethan’s gaze, which was focusing on the gardener’s story, turned to the side. She was Lora, whom he had been introduced to before.

‘Why would Evelyn’s exclusive maid come to me?’ Ethan immediately understood Lora’s business.

“Evelyn sent you? What does that child want?”

“Since the luncheon with the ministers is over, the Princess asks if the Young Master would like to have refreshments with her.”

Again, Evelyn first reached out to him to spend some time together. At first, when he arrived at the castle, it was something he couldn’t even dream of; but now it was different. As he listened to the gardener’s stories, his sinking mood began to improve. They couldn’t be together until now, but he would make it happen in the future.

“Yes, let go right away.”

“I’ll guide you.”

Ethan looked at the gardener behind after Lora’s answer and hurriedly greeted him.

“Next time, we’ll play again.”

Ethan left the garden without delay and followed Lora to Evelyn’s office. And Philman followed, as always.

Was it because of his excitement? Ethan thought that Lora’s pace was too slow. He would have moved a little faster if he was alone.

“Is it long since the lunch was over?”

Thinking he wanted to hurry, that question came out of his mouth without realizing it. A beating heart stimulated from the garden, silently rushed Lora.

“It’s been nearly 20 minutes.”

Ethan’s eyebrows furrowed slightly. Because more time has passed than he thought. As if peeking into his thoughts, Lora added,

“I was a little late because I first stopped at Young Master’s bedroom.”

A shallow sigh escaped Ethan’s mouth. He had been in his bedroom for days, so it was only natural to go there first. He made up his mind that when he saw Evelyn, he would definitely show that he was fine.

‘Before that, I must remove this fur coat.’

Entering the castle, Ethan took off his coat. Passing it to Philman, he said as he ran past Lora.

“I know the way, so I’ll go by myself now.”

Before Lora could say anything, he strode out with his long legs.

Tak-tak-tak. Walking faster than usual, he reached Evelyn’s office quickly.

Now familiar hallways, familiar furniture, and familiar doors. He was happy, feeling that the unfamiliar space had become familiar. Ethan cleared his throat before knocking on the door. However, no answer came from inside.

“Evelyn?”

Ethan knocked on the door once more, but once again there was no answer. He wondered if Evelyn had left her office in the meantime, and he started to feel anxious.

‘It’s been a few days since I saw your face properly…’

For a moment, he regretted leaving his guide behind. Ethan carefully opened the door and looked inside. Wouldn’t it be the best way to find out if she wasn’t there? Fortunately, Ethan didn’t have to chase after Evelyn. Because he found her sleeping soundly beyond the open door. Her eyelashes beautifully rested on her closed eyes.

Ethan’s eyes widened at the unexpected sight. And he held his breath without realizing it.

“Young Master?”

At that moment, he heard Philman’s voice. Seeing Ethan with his head stuck in front of the open door instead of entering, he couldn’t help but call. Ethan immediately waved his hand and clenched his fist. Anyone with a military education could have interpreted that sign; it meant that he should keep quiet.

Philman had a rough grasp of the situation and nodded with the corners of his mouth twitching.

Ethan finally entered the office. Thinking Evelyn might wake up, he lifted his heels and crept closer cautiously. He sat slightly on the desk, his gaze fixed on Evelyn.

‘Are you tired?’

For some reason, he couldn’t take his eyes off her, leaning on the spot where she usually sat with her eyes closed. It wasn’t the first time he had seen her sleeping. Ethan stared at the tired Evelyn and felt quite troubled.

He wanted to immediately reach out and wake her up. So he could say thank you for the snowman, and say that he was delighted with the warmth she left behind when she remembered his words. On the other hand, he wished she wouldn’t wake up. It may have been difficult to fill the seat of the Archduke alone.

Even while saying he was a help, the assignments she gave him were only basic administrative tasks. In addition to that, as the heir of Fedora, there must be a lot of work to do, and she must have been tired handling the additional burden during the Archduke’s absence. He didn’t want to disturb her rest.

The conflict though was short. Instead of waking Evelyn, he decided to wait for her to wake up. Thinking of a duty he couldn’t know, he chose to let her sleep. A calm silence filled the room as he vigilantly watched her sleeping.

In times like these, people’s thoughts invariably wander. Ethan was no exception. It may be his own illusion, but he seemed to have gotten a little closer to Evelyn after building the snowman. That was why he was expectant again.

‘Would it be possible to hear the inner feelings that she had not revealed yet? That would be great.’

In fact, it was easier than he thought to discover what Evelyn wanted. On the other hand, he didn’t know why she wanted it. The difference seemed to remain in her distance, so, would it be different now? Didn’t she keep what he said in mind and build a snowman herself while he wasn’t able to leave his bedroom? She also prepared a fur coat to keep him warm and block the harsh winter wind. Evelyn’s small consideration and kindness warmed Ethan’s heart.

The fluttering sensation that came once again made him laugh. At that moment, for some reason, the sound of a calm, subdued breath seemed to catch him and drew him. Ethan reached out to Evelyn as if bewitched. The soft silver hair enticed him as his hand stroked its length. He smiled softly as if melting and pondered the questions he wanted to ask Evelyn.

‘What did you think when I said I wanted to make a snowman that resembled me and you? With what expression did you make the snowman in the garden? Were you just as happy when you attached the jewels that look like my eyes?’

‘I don’t think there would be anything more I would want than Evelyn to smile in happiness like me now.’

Time passed mixed in questions and breathing.

“Ah…?”

Ethan made a foolish sound without realizing it. His hand, which had been stroking Evelyn’s hair, was now stroking her cheek. And not stopping there, his thumb slowly brushed her soft, plump lips. Heat suddenly leaked from the heart that had been beating warmly all this time. Ethan hardened in the same posture he reached out to Evelyn. At the same time as his hand flinched, her sleeping eyelids trembled. Contrary to Ethan being frozen and unable to move, Evelyn woke up with a blink of her eyelids.

“Uh…?”

Ethan held his breath for the moment when he met face-to-face with the scarlet eyes that had been hidden under her eyelids. Evelyn rubbed her cheek instead of avoiding his touch.

“Are you here?”

He removed his hand as he felt a soft sensation spread over his palm. Hastily, as if it had been scorched in flames. She looked, as if regretful, at the hand that suddenly moved away. Evelyn held Ethan with her eyes and didn’t move. Experience told him it was clear that she wanted him to touch her cheeks again, but he couldn’t do anything.

Ethan felt a tingling sensation radiating from his fingertips through his body, along with his heightened tension. After a prolonged silence, Evelyn lifted her gaze.

“Elder brother?”

It was a call he had heard over and over again. A call that made him happy. But today, instead of feeling pleasure, he had a strange response. He felt like he had been stabbed in the back by something invisible but definitely solid. Ethan hurriedly rose from the desk and stepped back. Even though he saw the question marks in Evelyn’s eyes, no words came out of his mouth. All he could do was open and close his mouth like a fish out of water. Ethan eventually did nothing and left Evelyn’s office like a man running away.

“Elder brother?”

The voice holding him from behind penetrated his ear. He got goosebumps. He ran recklessly up the hallway, away from Evelyn. After a while, Ethan stopped in an unfamiliar hallway and looked down at his trembling hands.

“What…”

The texture of Evelyn’s soft cheeks, which he had touched, remained. Even the sensation of the lips he brushed for a second. Ethan seemed able to immediately draw the shape of Evelyn’s lips that he had accidentally touched.

“Oh…?”

“Young Master?”

Philman had followed Ethan as he suddenly ran from the office. He looked at Philman with his eyes wide open, but he couldn’t say anything.

Philman’s gaze fell after noting Ethan’s still trembling hand. Immediately after, Ethan exhaled amid the rushing chaos. It was a ragged, uncontrolled breath.

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