I’m a Villainess, Can I Die? - Chapter 41

Chapter 41

My family looked bewildered at my words.

Soon Mother’s eyes turned red, and she covered her gaping mouth with her hands. Tears that had been welling up began to pour down like a waterfall.

After Mother once started wailing, Father and Brother’s eyes, which had been making a bewildered expression, soon began to turn red. Instead of crying, Father, who had been patting Mother on the back, bit his lip and opened his mouth.

“…Never, never ever do that again. That day…The day I went to pick you up… Do you know what I felt, how I felt when I saw you lying on the dirt floor?”

He seemed to be trying to speak as calmly as possible, but his voice was trembling till the end of his sentence. He saw me lying on the dirt floor.… It seemed that he had come to pick me up directly at the clock tower.

That would have been pretty shocking.

“I’m sorry.”

“If I ask why, will you give me an answer?”

When Brother asked carefully, Father looked at me with trembling eyes.

Why? I couldn’t say why.

I didn’t want Selena to die miserably, so I was just going to die, but I found out that it wasn’t Selena’s wish, and she was the one who wanted me to live happily. What?

‘I’m just wondering what kind of nonsense this is.’

Instead, I thought I had to come up with an appropriate reason, but it would take some time to come up with a reason that was plausible, so I just shook my head.

Mother, who had lowered her face after looking at me while slowly raising her head to hear the answer, then grabbed Father’s arm and gave a small nod.

When she looked back at me, there was a soft smile on her face. A friendly voice escaped from between her lips.

“It’s okay to say the reason slowly. If you want to tell me later, you can say it then. Instead… Now, you have to keep your promise that you will never do something like that again.”

“Yes.”

Mother embraced me as soon as I answered that. At first, she hugged me lightly, but gradually her arms started to get stronger, as if she was afraid she might lose me again.

I felt even more sorry because I felt like I had left some trauma behind for them.

It’s not that I didn’t think about the pain I’d be in after I jumped, but I didn’t think it would become a reality.

I didn’t jump thinking about living through it.

“Yes, Selena. Selena… We love you.”

As Father spoke, he held Mother and me tightly in his arms.

The suffocating way he held us was incomparable to that of Mother’s hug.

Perhaps Mother felt it too, because she tapped his arm and repeatedly said, ‘Our Selena is choking.’ Brother, who was watching, pulled Father away.

For a brief moment, I felt like I was naturally adapting to the small commotions of my family. I still don’t know what a real family was or how to act towards them, but if I was swept away like this… Perhaps… My face was still hardened and I couldn’t smile, and I couldn’t explain what I was feeling right now… My mouth was strangely sweet.

It was like putting a small candy in my mouth.

Since then, several conversations have taken place, and there are some facts that I have learned through conversations with my family members.

First of all, the reason I am alive.

No matter how much I thought about it, it was strange that I was still alive after falling from that height, so this is what I asked myself.

It was a cautious question to ask, but I had been thinking about it since I met the doctor, so I wanted to hear an answer.

Actually, I had a guess. The last person I met before jumping off the tower was Aiden.

Again, my guess was correct.

Thanks to Aiden, who cast magic on me as I fell from the tower, I was bounced into a tree in the forest behind me, and it was said that the shock got lessened. After that, the priest I met in the square healed my head.

I nodded, thinking that I should say thank you to both of them separately.

In particular, Aiden revealed his hidden abilities to the public, so I felt like I had to take responsibility to some extent.

The second thing I learned was about Vivian and such.

The salon owner and the tower keeper, how much heartbreak would they be in? At the mention of the two, I had to shake my head. Actually… I had been irresponsibly oblivious to those people.

Blinded only to break through the surveillance and succeed in my plan… People like this were selfish.

“I was deliberately trying to deceive you. Those people are not at fault.”

“…Yes. Right. The princess gave the orders… they can’t help but follow. So I just gave them a warning and let it go. Because it was true that security was too weak where people were coming and going.”

Was I supposed to be happy because it was such good treatment? It should have been something they didn’t have to go through.

In many ways, this incident had a tiring outcome. Well, it was because of my own hands, so I couldn’t blame anyone else.

When I got better, I decided on my own that I would personally visit and apologize. Of course, if I could get out of this mansion.

“Oh, and I think I should send a letter to Lady Vivian… She must have been surprised that I suddenly disappeared. I don’t think I’ll be able to go to the tea party she invited me to again… I will write it myself, so can you send it?”

“Yes, I will. Stop thinking about the next day and get some rest, Selena,”

Brother grabbed my hand with trembling hands and told me. Seeing that he was trembling like an aspen, there were three other people who needed rest, not me… I just nodded and laid down on the bed slowly.

The three of them said goodbye to me and left the room. Perhaps the warm air was blown out together, because the empty room felt a little chilly. I pulled the blanket up to the end of my neck and closed my eyes.

I was so exhausted that I fell asleep as soon as I closed my eyes. It was daytime when the three of them left, but when I woke up, the sun was setting outside the window.

“What time is it…”

“It’s twenty past six, My Lady.”

A small murmur in my sleep was immediately replied. It was a little tired-sounding, but it was a familiar voice.

“Aiden.”

At my call, the figure sitting next to me got up and lit the candlesticks in the room one by one.

While lighting the candlestick, Aiden did not respond to my words. The professional Aiden would have answered right away… Something seemed off. ‘Well, no way.’

When the candles were lit in the darkened room, it felt like the room was on fire.

“Aiden.”

When his name was called once more, Aiden, who lit the last candlestick, stood tall. He kept his back to me. Another period of unanswered silence followed. I sighed as I watched him just stand there like a husband-awaiting rock*.
(T/N: *husband-awaiting rock or mangbuseok is a rock formation in KR. The most popular legend behind it was about a woman whose husband was sent on a ship away, the wife waited every day up on a mountain ridge. The husband never returned and the faithful wife kept waiting until she started to turn to stone. Despite this story, there have been several versions of the legend behind the rocks. Read more of it here)

‘Again, again. Should the wrong person crawl?’

If I fell from the clock tower right in front of him, the shock must have been considerable. How heartbreaking it must have been, seeing me falling in front of his eyes even though he kept stopping me. Perhaps… he was not shocked enough to be unable to use magic on me.

I took off the blanket and put my feet on the ground to face Aiden, who was standing still.

Tumble.

‘Yes, of course.’

I used to act like Bambi after lying in bed for a few days… My body was still consistent. This is why I liked my body. Yes. I was very uselessly consistent.

It was said that the wrong person had to crawl, but I really didn’t intend to crawl. It felt strange to be in my room, looking down on the floor barefooted. ‘Shall I just crawl like this? I don’t think I can go on foot.’

But luckily, I didn’t have to crawl. Maybe the noise I made was quite loud, so Aiden, who had his back to me, suddenly came up to me and supported me.

“Why did you suddenly get out of bed like that?”

Supported me while scolding me.

Aiden put me back on the bed. Aiden took a step away and stared at the floor while I sat on the bed and roughly organized my clothes.

“Thank you.”

And at my words, the gaze that was looking at the floor turned to me. A red glow flashed in the wide open eyes. When a red light shone in his green eyes, it felt like the forest was burning.

‘Oh, so scary.’

“I just did my job.”

The wide-open eyes regained their size again, and the usual professional smile appeared on his lips. It was a pity that his hardened face was not the same as usual.

“Not for this, thank you for saving me.”

Aiden’s head fell to the floor again. Looking at the gloomy crown of his head that I had seen before, I opened my mouth again.

“And then, the magic…”

Knock, knock.

It was a knock that stopped my words.

Even after waking up from a death crisis, the familiar sound seemed to not be easily forgotten. Aiden, who was facing the floor, bowed to me and turned back without saying a word.

He seemed very familiar with this knock. Well, Aiden must have heard this as much as I did.

It wasn’t like Aiden to open the door and turn his back even though I didn’t allow it, but now I was trying to understand everything, so he greeted the guest without saying anything.

“Sir Lucas.”

After bowing his head, Lucas looked at Aiden as he walked past the door, then raised the corner of his mouth and slammed the door shut.

“How are you, Selena?”

“I’m okay.”

Lucas approached me slowly, passing me and snapping the curtains shut.

“Because I don’t enjoy watching the sunset.”

“Yes, sure. Do what you want.”

You don’t like the sunset… Well. But why do you hate the sunset? I thought about whether there was something like that in the book, but I couldn’t. Was there a lot of content in that one book?

Putting aside the little things, I turned my head again and looked at Lucas. Lucas sat down on the chair next to my bed, still smiling. He was the most casual and laid-back person among the people who visited my room today.

“Last time you said it wasn’t because of me, I guess that’s true.”

“I didn’t know you were still suspicious.”

“You should know what I’m thinking.”

“Should I, Sir Lucas?”

A meaningless conversation passed and silence returned again. There was little mercy in his way of speaking to the patient.‘I thought hitting people with facts was his hobby, but I didn’t think he was going to pick on his opponents like this.

Well, of course, it wasn’t that I didn’t understand.

Did Sir Lucas care about me? Although that was very annoying, annoying, and annoying for me, wouldn’t it be more annoying to Sir Lucas, who became the deputy commander of the Duke knights and followed after the Princess?

Besides, his track record of saving me from falling from the bell tower, and preventing my head from being smashed by a bunch of thugs who suddenly appeared… Lucas, who saved me several times from the brink of death, left the division on the day he was away for a while, so I had to bear my conscience. I was stressing this once again, but I wasn’t shameless. In that sense, I decided to go one step further.