I’m a Villainess, Can I Die? - Chapter 44

Chapter 44

‘Fantasy cannot come true, because it is ‘fantasy’.’

Aiden thought about it that way and quickly put aside any fantasies that could not be realized and concentrated on the reality. He had a very different life from the fantasy he had briefly dreamed of, though he could say that it was the best life he had ever experienced.

First of all, he was able to eat on time.

Being able to not be hungry was the best condition for him.

On top of that, all of the food was great. Although it was also a three-person room, he had his own bed. His own space where he could sleep comfortably without falling asleep in fear — for Aiden, it was touching in itself.

Lady Selina, at his age, would occasionally swear at him and hit him…

Just that, it was something that he could go over if he overlooked his hurt pride… No, there was nothing to hurt his pride in the first place. To hurt his pride was when he was thrown away like garbage in the trash can.

However, Aiden, who was so satisfied with everything, met one unexpected problem.

It was just ‘time.’

Time made him grow and obscured his past. It also made him accustomed to the present life and made him greedy for bigger things. And with the passage of time, the lady’s time also passed….

The lady’s anger, jealousy, and malice toward the young master, Aaron, also gradually grew enormous.

As a result of that anger, the level of violence that the young lady wielded was also increasing, and the swearing he would listen to every day that he was a useless beggar.

Lady Selina and her close noble group took pleasure in taunting him while he stood silently in the midst of it and had to smile softly. Even though he got used to the high-level violence and abusive language, too, being used to it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt him.

Small scratches piled up and piled up in his mind.

The day he turned seventeen. It was only then that he began to feel skepticism about his own life. The familiarity, his past living in mud, his greed for the future, and his pride that secretly sprouted. It was truly a bubbling pot of chaos.

What was the difference between life in the past and life now…?

Of course, there was a difference between life on the street and life now.

The dormitory was also getting quite full, so now he was using a single room instead of a three-person room.

How much the door with only his nameplate makes people tremble.

But, looking inside his heart… What was the difference between him now and the past? He nodded his head, bowed his body, and smiled or squeezed tears… Begging humbly and making a living out of it.

What was the difference?

Aiden, who locked himself in the bedroom after work, was immersed in anguish.

However, it was the sound of the window rattling against the wind that always reminded him of his own thoughts. If he left here, the cold wind would greet him — the lonely, cold, and hungry winter wind, that bitter wind will greet him again.

He suddenly remembered a child his age who froze to death by his side when he was living on the street. Yes, it could have been him.

Now, even though he was full, those worries filled him up.

The thought of whether a life in which happiness can only be felt by thinking of someone’s misfortune can be called a happy life passed through his mind for a moment, but he pretended not to know it and closed his eyes.

Instead, he carefully looked around the room.

A small space that he had dreamed of since he was very young, and he finally got his hands on it through hard work. Strong walls and windows to block the cold wind. In addition, a small desk full of objects that he used and a cozy bed to lay down on every day…

‘His’ place that he longed for. People might even point a finger at him, saying that he was fussing over just one room like this. Nevertheless, this space was in itself was his own life.

Squatting down in one’s own space in agony and chaos… That was Aiden’s routine.

It happened that day.

It was the day that Young Master Aaron was supposed to graduate from the academy and return home. The Lady’s atrocious act, throwing a jewel box, hit his head and blood flowed. All the anger he had endured from day to day flowed down with that blood.

As his lifesaver, what was the limit that could be overcome? His home, his one and only place. How far can he stand with his obsession with it…?

Aiden stared at the magic flames that floated around him and faced himself in the mirror.

…What could he do with this?

Should he take revenge on the Lady? Then, shall he go to the beggar group from the past and devastate them all?

Or, should he go to the orphanage and make those who beat him tremble in fear…?

The past, which he had hidden and dismissed, boiled up in his mind in an instant. Even he himself didn’t realize that he was still resenting them.

But then, he closed his eyes and let out those thoughts. If he did that, he would be kicked out of the Duchy, and it may be difficult to find a job with that bad rep for the rest of his life. No, he was more likely to get out without his life intact.

It was a life he had given up and got saved… It was too precious to lose it on a quick impulse.

If so, how about leaving this place quietly and entering the magic tower?

Aiden quickly shook his head.

Of course, he could accept it all and go there… But, what if… his magic was actually insignificant, that was just it?

He could tell vividly without even trying to imagine how someone like him would be treated, without connection or useful abilities. It was always the worst of the worst. Aiden, who had lived in the worst of the worst conditions, could only make negative assumptions.

In the end, Aiden just decided to be content with this position.

As long as he had magic in him, there was nothing he could do on his own. If so, it was better not to acknowledge it.

The flames floating around Aiden soon faded.

* * *

“Yes… That’s what I thought about it.”

On the day of Young Master Aaron’s engagement ceremony, behind the door, recalling the fragments of his memories that he could not recall, Aiden giggled a little. It was a laugh that bounced back from his childhood memories.

From that day on, he just smiled softly.

After learning that he could use magic, he secretly practiced in his room alone or read a book to learn about it, but that was all he did.

It was fortunate that the Lady did not wield any more physical violence since the jewel box incident, and after all the tormented years until he was a seventeen-year-old had passed, he was able to work again without any problems.

The Lady was his employer. He was her employee.

Yes, just that much.

However, since when? …The day she felt like a real ‘lady’, not just an employer.

…The day the Lady said she would pluck out his tongue if he cast a spell on her?

…The day she asked him what his name was?

…The day the Lady decided to eat cake with him every day after a walk?

…The day the Lady took his side on the engagement day?

If not… that day. On this day. That day… Well, all those days?

It was funny.

It had only been two months since she changed… The years that he got ignored were at least nine years. Somehow, the past two months felt more significant than those nine years.

Ah… that was right. It was two months ago. Precisely after she fell off the stairs and lost her memory, from that day on, she… became not just an employer… she was the ‘Lady.’

A certain realization struck him in the head, and Aiden raised his upper body.

When he remembered the Lady before the stair accident and the Lady now at the same time, they felt like a different person. Rather than simply losing her memory, he must have felt these similar subtleties before.

When was that… Aiden pressed his temples tightly in the frustration of not being able to remember that.

Pop—When the little white hand that was pushing the chocolate cake towards him popped into his head,

Knock, knock.

Along with the sound of a small knock, a voice that had grown accustomed to it was heard.

“Aiden… I don’t feel well.”

* * *

I flinched at the door that swung open as soon as I finished speaking. I didn’t know he would react so quickly… Even if I unintentionally was fooling him, I felt stabbed and glanced at Aiden with blinking eyes.

“Are you okay, Lady?”

As if startled, he widened his eyes and gazed at me, and my conscience was stabbed even more.

“Ung… no. I don’t feel well.”

To be honest, it felt like I was running out of energy rather than feeling unwell, but if I said that, I thought the door would close again. Conscience is conscience, but since we have come this far, I must achieve my goal.

With that in mind, I carefully slipped my hand through the door. If I did this, he wouldn’t be able to close the door.

Aiden, who was silently watching my actions, let out a small breath. With a slight smile on his face, he reached out to me.

“…Come in, Lady.”

Somehow it seemed like my fake condition had been caught, but he didn’t say anything, so I didn’t feel the need to talk about it. I grabbed Aiden’s outstretched hand and got up. The room I entered with Aiden’s help was quite neat and cozy. One desk, one bed, one wardrobe, and one small sofa.

It was a cute and nice room.

While sitting on the small sofa and rolling my eyes around the room, Aiden pulled up a chair and sat down in front of me.

We both gazed at each other without saying a word.

Now, what should I say…? To be honest, I was so distracted all the way here that I couldn’t figure out what to say.

First of all, maybe I’m sorry? I think my jumping in front of him made him mentally and physically traumatized…? Or thank you for doing the magic for me?

As I arranged my words one by one and tapped my feet, Aiden opened his mouth, perhaps interpreting it as for him to talk first.

“What made you come here? You must still be unwell…”

“I wanted to say something I couldn’t say yesterday.”

Hearing my words, his gaze turned to the floor. Although there were no flickering candles, it felt like the air in the room was flickering. It took quite a while for the face, which had been facing the floor, to turn towards me again.

“Thank you for saving me. I heard you used magic in front of people because of me.”

I couldn’t figure out why he was hiding his abilities from people, but he must have hidden it because he had some reason. The poor book did not explain why Aiden hid his powers.

But, wait… Now, this was the reality for me. If so, to what extent was the book true…?

Ah… why does it matter?

Actually, I couldn’t remember the details. It didn’t matter now. Thinking that, I quickly put back what had almost got sidetracked for a while.

There was no reply for a long time.

There is no answer today either. Originally, Aiden would respond immediately after I spoke… I glanced at him, and Aiden’s gaze was somewhere in the air behind me.

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