It’s Not Night - Chapter 88

Chapter 88

Andra slowly opened her eyes. The bright sun had set, and now, only darkness filled the room. The faint moonlight, obscured by the clouds, flowed in through the window, where the sunlight had fallen. Andra raised her upper body and buried her face in her palms. The memories about Anat that had permeated her dreams made her head heavier rather than lighter.

‘It would be better if I could glimpse at all the memories.’

Anat’s memories were irregular, so Andra couldn’t see the parts she wanted. Andra was troubled by the slowly revealed relationship between Anat and Dean. If she could just peek into all of Anat’s memories, she’d be able to easily figure out what happened to the ancient kingdom of Hazel, as well as the magic on her and Dustin.

‘Ha…’

Raising her head after rubbing her face, Andra was shocked to see a figure in the corner and almost fainted. Someone sat waiting for her to get up. Besides, he came little by little, noticing that Andra had woken up.

Andra paused for a moment as she saw the window open, wondering if she had not locked the window.

“Dustin Airak…?”

Dustin appeared in front of Andra. Andra contorted her face as soon as she saw him. She had just told him during the day to not appear in front of her again. However, Dustin ignored Andra’s words and appeared in front of her—no less by arbitrarily breaking into her room through the window.

“I’m sure I told you to never show up in front of me again…!”

“It… It was my fault.”

Andra was about to burst into rage. Dustin’s large body collapsed in front of her. He knelt down on his knees and looked up at Andra on her bed. The corners of Dustin’s eyes, exposed at first glance in the moonlight, were evidently reddened.

Andra was at a loss for words seeing Dustin like this, and so she could do nothing but keep her mouth shut. The most unbelievable thing for her was the words he uttered.

“It was… my fault.”

“…….”

“…Really, it was all my fault.”

Dustin was just repeating that it was all his fault, like a parrot. And then, his pale green eyes trembled anxiously, unable to even meet Andra’s gaze. His hand could not stand still, and trembled violently. He clenched and loosened his fist, then scratched his knee and rubbed his fingers. She could see that he was very nervous.

Andra realized that it wasn’t a lie that Dustin liked her, but the truth. Otherwise, Dustin Airak wouldn’t be able to get on his knees in front of her right now.

A face that was so haggard that it was hard to believe that it had happened in just half a day was right in front of her. But that didn’t change Andra’s mind. To her, Dustin Airak felt more heinous like this.

“Your fault? The person who said it was your fault is ignoring me again after half a day, so do you want me to believe it?”

Andra looked down at Dustin with a small sigh and her face hardened coldly. The pale green eyes met her gaze, half-resigned Andra’s words.

“I want to apologize to you…”

“Apologize?”

She fumed. Even during the daytime, she had screamed at him, but Dustin didn’t listen to her for anything. At this point, he was no better than an animal. She even thought that she might be able to communicate better with an animal.

Andra got out of bed. She stood in front of Dustin and pointed to the half-open window. There is nothing more to talk about. She said firmly.

“Get out.”

“…Andra.”

“Don’t you even dare to utter my name.”

This situation that is just like talking to a wall keeps repeating itself. No matter how many times she says it, Dustin will not understand, and he will just upset her. It was impossible in the first place for her to talk to the ignorant Airak. Really disgusting and terrible…

Andra paused for a moment. Really…? Disgusting and terrible…? Dustin’s shocked face appeared in Andra’s sight. Without realizing it, she turned her gaze away from him and said hurriedly.

“I think I have endured enough by now. So go out while I’m still patient. Because this is the last time I will be patient.”

“Andra, I…”

“Didn’t you hear me? I don’t even want to see you, so leave!”

Dustin sighed and froze. He glanced confusedly at Andra and the open window. This isn’t it. It shouldn’t be like this. However, his mouth did not open, like glued together.

Even though he had practiced so much before coming here, when he saw Andra’s reaction towards him, it seemed as if his throat was all tightened up.

“You’re not going? Do you want me to get you out myself?”

Andra’s voice grew louder. Unable to bear it, she tried to lift Dustin up with her own hands. She grabbed Dustin’s arm. But Dustin was so much bigger than her that he didn’t budge. Her head is throbbing. He was going to stay like this. Andra easily gave up pulling Dustin.

“If you won’t go, I will.”

Andra, tired of dealing with Dustin any longer, picked up her coat. Only then did Dustin, who had not moved, moved. He hastily grabbed the coat in Andra’s hands.

Andra frowned as she turned to him, wondering if things are repeating itself again. Then she was perplexed. Dustin burst into tears.

“Don’t go.”

“…You.”

“…Don’t go, Andra. Please…”

Dustin opened his mouth, struggling to speak through the tears. He didn’t even know he was crying. He seemed to be focused only on stopping Andra. He quickly grabbed her clothes, fearing that Andra would let go of the coat.

It was very strange to Andra to see a grown man holding her clothes and crying. Especially if that man was Dustin Airak.

The large hand gripped Andra’s thin clothing like holding a savior. Dustin was desperately holding onto the fabric that seemed to tear with just one pull. Still, he didn’t touch her body.

“I beg you. Don’t go. It was all my fault…”

“…….”

“What… should I do? I’ll do whatever you say. I’m serious. How can I repent? Just tell me. Because I can really do everything… Just let me be by your side.”

The moment Andra turned her back, his heart clenched up. He was terrified of her moving away from him. He didn’t know why. It’s just… It felt like Andra had to be in his sight. When she disappeared, he was afraid that she would never appear in front of him.

It felt really weird. His heart kept pounding.

So, when Andra turned her body away from him, the feelings he had held on burst. He couldn’t really control himself. It felt like the depths of his body were raging violently. All of him seemed to be clamoring a need for Andra. So he couldn’t let Andra leave.

“You can hate me. I hate myself so much, I’m so horrible and disgusting, I don’t mind you hitting me and cursing me. But instead… don’t avoid me.”

“…Dustin Airak.”

“I… I know you hate me. I know you don’t like my behavior. But I don’t know either. I don’t know what’s wrong with me… I just don’t think I can be without you.”

Tears wet his face all over. Dustin clings to Andra’s clothes, his words muffled, and his tears continue to flow nonstop. Andra looked down at his face quietly.

It was a face that she could only see when she looked up, and it was a face that had looked down on her. It was also a face that she hated so much. But for now, he looked infinitely weak.

And then why… Why was Dean coming to mind? Dean and Dustin overlapped in her mind, recalling how Dean had begged Anat not to leave him, saying that he loves her. This wasn’t the first time the two overlapped each other, but now, Dean’s appearance in Dustin is more clearly visible.

Does Dustin love her as much as Dean loves Anat? The more she thought about it, the more difficult it was for Andra to understand. Since when?

“I need you, Andra. Please… I’ll do whatever you say. I can swear. What do you want me to do? What should I do… I can be by your side, right?”

Dustin continued his jumble of words. He was desperate to hold onto Andra.

“If you don’t like me being an Airak, I can drop my last name and leave my household. I’ll do whatever you say. All the things I’ve done to you in the past… I will regret it for the rest of my life. I will live by your words. I can fix it all. If I could be by your side, I could give up everything…”

Andra reached out her hand and pulled her clothes from Dustin’s grip. Dustin didn’t seem to want to let go, but he was afraid Andra wouldn’t like it, so he couldn’t help but let go. Tears streamed down his cheeks and down his chin, and dripped to the floor.

He looked up at Andra. He was afraid that Andra would tell him to go away.

Fortunately, Andra did not turn her back from him and left, but instead faced him. She then asked, with a face more calm than ever.

“I don’t understand. How can you like me? Is it because of my body? Is it because you like having s*x with me?”

Dustin stiffened again at Andra’s question.

“If we hadn’t fallen behind in the dungeon, would you have told me that you like me the way you do now?”

“…Andra.”

“I really don’t know either. I don’t understand why you’re doing this to me.”

Andra thought that even if Dustin’s feelings for her were sincere, what would happen to her when the magic was broken? So she could neither understand nor believe that Dustin truly liked her.

What if Dustin came back like he used to be? If it were to end up like that, wasn’t he playing with her? Andra didn’t want to get involved in the game of uncertain odds.

Andra took a deep breath. She then opened her lips apart slowly.

“Leave, Dustin. Airak.”

She can’t just play with a moment’s emotions. Andra thought this was the best option.

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