My Love’s First Love is Back - Chapter 1

C H A P T E R _ 1

Episode 1

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Elsia stared at the closed door in front of her.

In contrast with the stone gate of the old Eusley Castle where she and Ian lived, was a colorful door with a wreath and golden bells hanging on it.

It was a token from the imperial family, hoping that people beyond the door would be blessed with splendid glory and luck.

Even if she felt unfamiliar, Elsia couldn’t help it.

After all, this was not the Eusley Castle that she knew, but the dormitory, the Saint’s bedroom which Ian kept protecting.

Soon, it was winter again.

As she stood and the first snow of the year, Ian’s handmade poinsettia wreath came to mind.

“Ian…”

Elsia, despite being a puppeteer, had no dexterity at all and only looked at Ian’s skillful hands with wonder. The flames of the fireplace burned warmly, and her breath as she stared at Ian was much hotter than the hot air in the room, a nostalgic memory she knew would never come back.

‘Will he remember?’

The night when the snow was heavy, she was happy being alone with Ian, who became lively for the first time in a long time.

Even though it was a wreath to be hung on the front door, it was too precious to be displayed openly till it withered.

The Poinsettia wreath was preserved, so it would not wither. It was sleeping peacefully in Elsia’s treasure box.

He would never know.

In the future, forever.

There’s no reason for him to be interested.

Elsia tried to bury the small memories of the past and pushed the door open.

Today, there was a difficult task that she had to complete no matter what.

She desperately hoped that this day would not come, but in the end, it came. When she thought about it alone, she often burst into tears. Thinking about it, Elsia tried to calm herself. She can’t mess up the real thing after all that practice.

In the quiet room, there was a saint on a bed; she was covered with a veil. Then, a man who stood firmly by her side, unmoving.

There were two people, but only the man’s silhouette was clearly visible to Elsia’s eyes.

Ian, whom she loves so much.

“The saint is sleeping, but you don’t even know how to knock, what kind of insensitive act is this?”

Ian spoke with a very unpleasant tone, but he did not take his eyes off the woman lying on bed. Elsia’s healing doll helped with treatment, and her right hand, which she used to help her, was raised. It stopped the sword that was directed towards her.

Elsia’s heart ached by the sight of a knight who thoroughly protects the saint from anything, no matter what.

The old lover, whom he had promised to marry, barely came back from the dead. So, it would be natural to be vigilant and protective. Elsia mocked herself for being foolish. She thought she got close to Ian? What a dream! Elsia couldn’t get closer by interfering with the bond between Ian and that woman.

What did she expect as she dared to disturb him?

A knight who long honored and loved the noble saint who saved the world at the risk of her life and was sacrificed years ago.

There was an inseparable bond between those two.

Why did she hope that he would change his mind and look towards her, who was nothing to him?

Looking at his chilly back, Elsia brought up the name she called hundreds of times last night.

“Ian, it’s me.”

“…Elsia?”

Ian, who heard Elsia’s familiar voice, turned his head in surprise. They are not lovers, but they are close friends who can easily call each other by their names. That was the definition of a parallel relationship between Ian and Elsia.

She quickly opened her mouth, lowering her gaze to avoid Ian’s beautiful eyes.

“I’m going back now.”

“Oh, yeah. You said that your doll’s healing magic is no longer effective, so there’s no need for you to be here. You’ve worked hard.”

Elsia wasn’t surprised by Ian’s brief explanation. She sighed quietly and quickly greeted the saint. That was all she said to her as farewell even though she devoted herself to helping with the treatment.

Perhaps Elsia’s sad abandonment was trivial, Ian’s attention soon returned to the saint who was lying motionlessly. He clearly turned his back on Elsia, who was about to leave him!

However…

It was rather fortunate that Elsia didn’t have to see Ian’s beguiling eyes. It gave Elsia the courage to finish her words.

“Good bye.”

Even after saying a sad farewell, she froze and couldn’t move.

‘What is happening to me? At the last moment, in order not to act like an idiot, I looked in the mirror for several days and practiced the same farewell words’

She practiced saying goodbye the same way. Elsia blamed herself for being stupid in front of the man she loved. However, her feet seemed to be going against her, it stuck tightly to the floor like a hardened plaster statue, and her pathetic eyes did not know how to leave the back of that certain man’s head.

She desperately hoped that Ian would look back and hold onto her.

‘Please, turn around just this once.’

‘Even if I can’t help the saint, even if I’m useless to you, look back.’

‘Please, love me.…’

‘The beautiful times and memories of those four seasons we spent together, were they nothing to you?’

Elsia Bennett was still hoping for Ian Cypris, unable to abandon her regrets. She couldn’t express a single word of resentment and the recoil was accumulating in her chest. It was really inevitable since she fell for him. Afraid that the moment he knew about her long heartache, he would feel burdened.

After a while, Ian, who had been watching the sleeping saint in silence; opened his mouth carefully.

“You must have been surprised and embarrassed, I’m sorry I couldn’t take care of you. It must be uncomfortable here, you can go back to Eusley Castle….”

“No, it’s not.”

Funny enough, Ian opened his tightly closed lips like a lie as soon as he thanked her.

What day is today? Isn’t it the day to give up on the unfortunate love she kept for a full year and never look back? Even so, she couldn’t even say that she hated the man she loved. Instead, she decided to put an end to her wishful thinking.

At this moment, no matter how much she looked at his back and waited for him to turn to her, Ian will never come to Elsia’s side.

Even if she went to Eusley Castle alone and waited for a hundred years for him, her pitiful love will never be reciprocated.

Because the only first love ‘he’ desperately wished for is right here.….

If she wasn’t a noble saint, or if she did not return barely alive from the dead, Ian Cypris would never love Elsia.

Ian was a man born to see and love that one woman forever. Why was he alone all this time? It proved that the immortal love he had was not for Elsia.

Even when the whole world thought the saint was dead, he stayed.

Elsia proudly monopolized the man who had lost his lover and had been completely destroyed. Since she came to his island, there have been a lot of times when the two of them met under the guise of friends and colleagues, by that, she was able to monopolize him…. They spent a long time together until four seasons have passed. Sadly, her love was not reciprocated, that was the answer she found.

Her miserable love had to end today.

For her sake.

Elsia’s place…….

Wasn’t next to Ian.

“Elsia?”

Ian’s head, recognizing the sad cry buried in Elsia’s voice, turned to her side. It wasn’t interest in love, but just his modest kindness that was easily given to anyone with whom he was acquainted with. She saw it so many times, so she couldn’t help but know.

If you fall for that cruel indifference that seemed friendly, you will be unable to leave again.

Elsia couldn’t deny she was in love with him.

‘The courtesy he has given me is not an expression of love. So, you can’t misunderstand again, Elsia. You can’t even look at his eyes! If you do, you will really be unable to run away.….’

Shaken, Elsia struggled to bring up forbidden words for a permanent severance with Ian.

“…… I have something to say.”

“What is it?”

“Ian, I’ve loved you for a long time. I’ve never seen you as a friend, ever since the beginning. It’s been like that for a year”

After finishing the words she shouldn’t have said, a throbbing headache came over.

After completing her heartbreaking confession, Elsia finally turned around and ran away, feeling the pain of her heart being torn. The precious bedroom of the saint that Ian protected even if thunder or rain may come, Elsia ran away from it.

In a harsh world, where a child in her womb is born, they will be ridiculed for not knowing who the father is.

( TL/N: I’m not sure if she was really pregnant here or it was just an expression, I’ll just note this here and update it later when we understand the story better. )

Ian’s brow furrowed, not immediately understanding what he had heard. As a knight, he had good hearing, but he thought he misheard what she just said.

‘Who…?’

‘What did she say?’

‘Me…’

“Mhmm….”

It was then. A weak sigh came out of Kayla’s lips, the saint who had fallen into a state of deep sleep.. Ian, who forgot to naturally breathe for a moment, carefully walked towards her to raise the veil.

The saint, who barely returned from death, insisted on going to the imperial palace, saying she had to lift the curse placed on the crown prince. She raised the Holy Grail she had received from the goddess and shouted to save the Crown Prince, but somehow lost her divine power while rapidly deteriorating afterwards. The church was also very embarrassed by the unusual situation. Sadly, there was no oracle about it.

A person without her divine powers cannot be a saint, but Ian thought otherwise. As the previous commander of the Holy Knights, he had to take care of the lost saint. He offered to take Kayla to the Marquis of Cypris’ residence, and the temple condoned.

Kayla, who had become extremely weak, was often unable to wake up for more than a few days once she fell asleep. Her awake state is getting shorter little by little, the cycle was so irregular that delicate care was needed. It was clear that he could almost never take his eyes off her. In fact, taking his eyes off her only became possible because he got stability and good advice with the help of the healing doll Elsia lent to them.

Ian was originally a devoted man who could sacrifice even a drop of his own blood for Kayla. It could not simply be called as the knight’s loyalty to the saint.

‘It was because she was his first love.’

In the past, even now.

However…..

‘Elsia…What did she mean just now?’

Elsia, who suddenly ran away, cried and said, ‘Goodbye’.

Those words never left Ian’s mind. He was bothered by it even if his beloved Kyla was in front of him. The dizzying thoughts only had Elsia, who just ran away from him.

In the end, he really couldn’t stay still.

“…Butler? Are you there?”

“Yes.”

The butler of Eusley Castle must have seen all the fuss inside after the door opened. Nevertheless, he looked calm as if he saw nothing.

On the other hand, Ian suddenly felt angry for no reason.

‘Why did you just stare at the weak Elsia when she was making a ridiculous stubbornness to return to the castle alone? Winter is about to come, and you know how terrible the freezing cold of Eusley Castle is! Are you not even worried about her?’

The Ceylon House, where she previously lived, was inhabitable due to the recent fire, the only place Elsia could go home to was Eusley Castle.

“Keep watching the saint. If she wakes up while I’m away, get a therapist fast. I can reassure you that I’ll be back soon.”

“Alright.”

After a short conflict, he finally stood up leaving his precious saint behind.

To find Elsia.

It would have never happened if it were in the past.

END OF EPISODE 1

[TL/N: I’m just so sad!!! This chapter was pushing me to the edge. It’s just the first chapter so I hope we won’t judge the ML yet. He is also in pain. I’m very pleased to be able to finish several chapters. I’m sorry to break your hearts during Valentine’s Day but this is a gift to you because it was my birthday a week ago and I feel like many people can relate with such hopeless love. Thank you for reading and enjoy until chapter 8!]