Please Let Go Of Me Now - Chapter 5
Chapter 5
****
It was a night when even the fireflies slept.
Under a hazy starry sky, a woman with a long robe opened the stable door, limping one leg. She looked like she was having a hard time trying to climb on the back of a horse without a saddle.
She was putting a lot of effort into it.
Lily finally grabbed the mane and got on the horse.
The animal’s body heat, which was warm to the touch, combined with the cold night air, caused murky breaths.
Lily rode the horse blindly without a destination. Her whole body throbbed and ached in time with those creaking hooves, but she didn’t slow down the reins.
She had to get as far away and as remote as possible before dawn.
Lily arrived at a small village just as the sun was setting. With little money she had, she satisfied her hunger and ran again.
The next village was finally reached after the evening darkness had fallen.
It was about the time when the deserted streets flickered and dimmed.
Even the merchants standing on both sides of the street were closing their shops and preparing to leave.
Lily, who was looking around at the shops, approached one of them and spoke to a merchant.
“Is there any place to stay?”
She pulled the hood of the blue robe she was wearing down to her nose, even though no one knew who she was.
“You mean an inn?”
“It’s a bit more secluded than an inn.”
The woman who had been squatting and cleaning her fish stopped her knife for a moment and raised her head. The look in her eyes as she stared at Lily up and down was very suspicious.
“You don’t look like a beggar…”
The fish seller stood up, wiping her hands on her apron.
“Why are you looking for a remote place? Alone?”
“….”
“What about your companion?”
Lily shook her head.
“Do you see that mountain road over there? Go straight along that path. There’s no one around, it’s just perfect.”
“Thank you.”
“Why thank you ….”
The fish seller sniffed at Lily as she hurried up on the horse.
“Thank you.”
The grumpy cheeks twitched up and down.
Lily followed the fish seller’s directions and walked down the slope at the foot of the mountain. She walked until the sun went down and found a deserted house.
The weeds grew thickly and the roof fell completely. The half-collapsed walls were not working as they should, and the interior was completely exposed.
Lily entered the bare space.
She grabbed a bundle of straw under her feet and huddled in a pile.
A feeling of uneasiness washed over her, but also a feeling of excitement that she could not describe. It mixed strangely with the smell of bulky straw and closed the eyes of her tired body and mind.
And she was drifting off to sleep.
“Are you sure?”
“Oh, how many times do I have to tell you? The skin on her face was very taut.”
She heard a murmur in her sleep.
Shadows of fire crept through the cracked mud walls. The flickering flames danced as if searching for something.
“Was she pretty?”
“Oh, she’s beautiful! How can a woman who ran away after sucking off a rich old man?”
“Are you sure there’s no problem?”
“Don’t worry, but aren’t there at least one or two women who were beaten by the real wife and kicked out?”
A fishy smell wafted in the cool night breeze.
Lily hunkered down and hid in the darkness.
“It’s been a while since I’ve had a lucky draw.”
“That’s what I’m saying. Then have a lot of fun.”
Lily heard a few coins fall into the palm of the giggling woman’s hand. As the large shadow disappeared behind the grass, the fire shadow on the floor also shook and enlarged itself.
A man frankly walked into the abandoned house.
“Shh, shh, shh, shh.”
He made a threatening voice as he called out.
The space was filled only with the sound of night insects.
“Are you there?”
The thirsty man sucked his lips quickly and scratched his manhood.
Lily squeezed her shoulders together and closed her eyes. Her heart was pounding. In that state, she gently raised herself up. Raising her heels, she sneaked out the back gate.
“Hey!”
The man shouted at the back of her head.
Lily suddenly ran through the forest. Her shoes came off in the run and she went flying, but there was no time to stop.
While the moonlight on the grass was stained with dew, she ran frantically through the bushes.
Her breath caught on her throat and she could not move any longer when a red light flickered in the distance. With all her strength, Lily followed the light. Where her feet stopped, a small log cabin stood.
“ Please help me! Please help me!”
“…”
“Please… open it!”
It was about that time when the time it took to hear the presence of a person from inside seemed like an eternity.
Creak.
The door opened at the squeal produced by the old hinges, and a gray hair poked out of the narrowing gap along with a cane.
“Who are you?”
“Please help me… please help me…”
A hoarse cry came out of Lily’s throat, matching the sound the wooden door was making.
The old woman held the handle and listened to the ragged breathing. After a few moments, she opened the door and welcomed the uninvited guest.
“Come in.”
The grandmother pointed to the pots with a crooked finger. Lily hid herself among the pots and after a while, a thick voice punched the wooden door.
“Grandmother! Open the door!”
“Who are you in the middle of the night?”
“I saw you hiding her! Aren’t you going to open it right away?”
The old woman laughed out loud as she swore vulgarly.
“She’s our guest for the night. But what should I do? It’s a bad time.”
“You old woman. Hurry up and open it!”
When the man was about to raise his foot and tried to kick the door, he was grabbed by the chin and neck. Behind him stood a man dressed in the attire of a hunter, who looked like a black bear, standing tall.
After several angry shouts and fistfights, the angry man ran away, covering his broken nose. Perhaps anticipating this situation, the old woman opened the door without hesitation to greet the hunter.
“You’re late today.”
Lily could see the panic on the hunter’s face as he entered the hut. It was just after he had found the head that had popped up behind the pots.
“Mother…?”
“Yes… That’s right. Sit down first.”
The old woman rifled through the wood with her dry hands. Lily, who had been hiding, pulled her head out and looked around.
She looked at the hunter and explained the whole story of how she had escaped and came here.
“Tsk, young wives are suffering a lot.”
Unlike the old woman, who clicked her tongue, the hunter wrinkled his brow.
He folded his arms and listened like a wooden stone, but towards the end he threw in a few words.
“It’s a pitiful situation. But we can’t afford to help anyone either.”
He said that they couldn’t add one more spoon in a situation where it was too difficult to even feed their mouths.
The old woman who had been sitting by the fire put down the poker in her hand.
“It’s almost winter. Why don’t we stay together until spring? Then she can find a place to stay.”
“Mother!”
“Don’t act so heartless. The weak must help each other to live. It’s nice to have someone to talk to when you’re lonely.”
Knowing his old mother’s stubbornness well, the hunter didn’t complain. He just folded his arms again and lay back on the bed. Then he went outside before the night was over.
“I have to go catch something today… That’s all we have left now.”
The old woman who had been moving the empty pot up and down handed over a lump of bread.
The crust, which at first glance resembled bricks, was moldy in places.
“…”
Lily stared into the old woman’s eyes instead of accepting the bread.
She was blind, so she couldn’t see in front of her.
Lily got up from her chair, intending to go out to the village and get some food. The old woman’s hand that remained on the surface quickly grabbed Lily’s hand.
“Stop it. I think they had already unleashed the hounds.”
“What…?”
“Look. Just because I can’t see doesn’t mean I’m a fool.”
The old man pointed to the wrinkled area around her eyes, or more precisely, to the long scar across her eyes.
“I lost two and gained one.”
“…”
“It’s your body’s scent, and this is a scent you’ll never know.”
Lily took a strand of her hair and smelled it secretly. The old woman’s ears perked up and a smile appeared on her wrinkled face.
“You use lily scented oil. Come here and sit down.”
The old woman patted the seat next to her with her wood like hand, and then caressed Lily’s face.
She was silent for a moment, as if remembering something, but then opened her mouth.
“As you can see, my eyes are like this…”
Sensing the old woman’s intention when she slurred her words, Lily quietly explained her facial features. The old woman who had been listening nodded her head.
“You have to hide your hair color first. There’s nothing I can do about your eyes, so cover them with this.”
Elegance flowed through her movements as she handed over the old piece of cloth. Lily glanced at the cloth, which didn’t suit the country villager at all.
“There are some things you just can’t tell anyone.”
The old woman made the first move with an empty laugh. Then she brought some pork oil and ash powder from somewhere and put it in a wooden bowl.
She placed a small lump of the mixture on Lily’s head and rubbed it evenly.
Lily panicked and held her nose. The unpleasant smell and feel made her want to vomit.
“It will stink. Just bear it for one night.”
With a light tap on her sticky head, the old woman went outside.
That night, after the moon was high in the sky, the hunter returned. There was an unknown bird hanging on his waist.
“Looks like you’re in luck, young lady.”
The old woman joked as she put the hairless meat into boiling water.
The smell of meat, which she hadn’t smelled in a long time, made Lily stand by the brazier with her share of a wooden bowl and wait her turn.
When she saw the bubbling broth, she swallowed her saliva.
“Be careful, it’s hot.”
The old lady scooped out a bowl of thin soup and handed it to Lily.
Lily took the bowl and hurried to the table. As soon as she sat down, she puffed and blew.
“Eat slowly.”
The old woman generously poured her portion into Lily’s empty bowl and just sat in silence for a while.
***
“Grandmother, grandmother!
It had been a fuss since the morning.
“Grandmother’s right!”
When she went to wash her face, Lily saw her dark* hair reflected in the water of the stream, and for a moment she felt a sense of freedom. (*Lily had white hair before)
“Where did you learn this stuff, who did you learn it from, or did you read about it in a book?”
The old woman gently reminded Lily, who talked incessantly, as if she were her daughter.
“If you’re old, you’ll only get better, so hurry up and go.”
Lily hurried on, clapping her hands.
Behind the cabin was a row of oak trees, and every morning Lily chased the squirrels as she happily picked up acorns.
“Grind the kernel finely to germ powder. It won’t do any better than rye, but the bitterness makes it worth eating.”
The old mother who had taught Lilly how to make acorn bread straightened her back. She sat on the fallen log, tapping her bent spine, and caught her breath for a while.
“…I am also not from this village, I was blinded by someone and happened to drift here. I lost this instead, but I don’t regret it.”
She smiled bitterly as she swept the scars from her eyes.
Lily left the basket she was carrying and went to her mother’s side.
The last breeze of autumn blew between them.
“Do you believe in fate? Someone said life is like a spinning wheel.”
The old woman sang a song in an idle old voice.
[Fate is the thread, inevitability is the wheel.
The thread weaved round and round is fate.
Sack, sack, sack, spinning wheel
It wears out and resembles you, even if you do your best
Don’t cry, don’t cry.]
As if she had fallen asleep in spring, her face was full of tiredness.
“Don’t be too sad, honey.”
Lily couldn’t tell where the old woman’s blind eyes were facing.
However, there was a dry sound coming from the hand comforting the back of Lily’s hand, and the sound of crunching fallen leaves.
