Please Let Go Of Me Now - Chapter 8
Chapter 8
***
The maids came five or six times a day to anoint me with fragrant oil and medicinal salves. Lily was decorated and adorned with extreme care.
This was similar to seasoning bare skin and caring for it in a way that made it easy to eat, and the nausea came up again. Lily swallowed the nausea that lodged in her throat. As she did so, the time passed rapidly.
And the morning of precisely the second day was a bright day.
“His Majesty has crossed the bridge of the detached palace.”
At the guidance of the maid, the fondant and carrots on the spoon were returned to the soup bowl Lily was eating. She just had a drink.
Both doors opened and the maids flocked in like birds. The first one came and snatched Lily’s spoon.
After cleaning up the tasteless breakfast and tidying up the bed, Lily stood up and went to sit in front of the dressing table.
The maids poured scented oil on Lily’s fine silver hair and wiped it with a comb. A shimmering trinket was added to her hair, which was now too short to tie.
There were no words spoken back and forth, but everyone was moving in unison, as if they had made a promise.
One particularly enthusiastic maid tucked a flower basket under her arm and scattered rose petals in all directions.
The red petals fell like bloodstains on the pure white bed sheets.
‘No.’
Lily grabbed the hem of her skirt tightly.
She wanted to run over and throw that basket away right now, but she couldn’t.
The maids were faithful to their respective duty despite Lily’s rejection.
Once they were completely ready to receive the Emperor, they hurried away.
As soon as they left and closed the door loudly, Lily who stood by the wall, immediately ran to the dressing table.
She ran and lifted the chair from the vanity and threw it against the glass window. The window, which she thought would break at once, was not even scratched. It even laughed at Lily.
‘Oh, what am I going to do?’
‘Will I be able to escape?’
There was nowhere to hide. She didn’t have the courage to resist, and she didn’t have the strength to fight back.
‘Rather than that…!’
Lily went to her bedside and picked up the ceramic vase on the side table. She threw it on the floor and it shattered to pieces.
The vase broke and the white roses were scattered.
The sticky water seeped into her toes. Still, it was quiet outside.
The Emperor disliked messiness.
If that was the case, all she had to do was to make herself dirty.
She had to throw away this body that had been prepared for easy eating.
Lily grabbed a large piece of shard and cut her chest. Then, blood trickled down her arms and legs.
The flesh cracked and the blood spilled.
She tore her dress, threw the jewelry away, and messed up her hair like a maniac.
She ran straight for the bed and pulled down the bedsheets.
She cut the pillows with the shard in her hand. The pure white feathers flew in all directions and stuck to her bleeding body.
Rip it, throw it, destroy it.
If it can be destroyed, Lily will destroy everything.
“It’s a spectacle.”
The door opened silently around the time Lily stood in bed and pulled down the canopy.
“What a sight.”
The Emperor entered through the cracked door.
Standing in the mess, he recited and applauded, but Lily couldn’t tell if it was a marvel or lament.
Was he laughing?
He seemed to be laughing.
Why was that? Why did he seem to be happy when she was so angry and struggling?
“It’s a waste to watch it alone…Keep going.”
The Emperor even beckoned and continued his contrived applause. It was a slow and polite applause as if dedicated to the performer who finished the solo performance.
“Well, welcome back.”
His voice was sweet.
Whether it was sincere or pretentious, the distinction was unimportant.
As soon as Lily saw him, her body froze. Her head froze in turn, and her consciousness followed suit.
The Emperor strode with his long legs and approached Lily without stepping on a single splinter. He came closer and looked at Lily.
He looked at every cracked and broken thing in the room around her.
She didn’t know what he was thinking. She didn’t know what expression he might be looking at her with.
All she could feel was her hard breathing and the bloody smell of her flesh.
“To hide, you have to be well hidden.”
His finger lightly tapped the tip of Lily’s nose. Straight white fingers, those fingers that had grabbed the servant’s neck. Lily jumped off the bed quickly, covering her neck. The Emperor blocked the way before she could.
“Where are you going again?”
He blocked her and whispered.
“Lily Paulman. Lily. Lily.”
Then he scratched his eyebrows and chuckled, as if her behavior was funny. The slightest laugh, even the smallest movement, was dotted with fear and strangled Lily.
“Did you like it?”
The Emperor suddenly asked.
“Did you have to hide the color of your hair that looked good on you?”
Lily’s blue eyes, which had seemed so moody a moment ago, took on a different light as she cried.
Lily would have been rolling with the hunter in a haystack where fleas thrived.
She must have cried her heart out under the sweaty man’s chest. How naughty the sounds she must have made with those tiny lips. How desperately she must have called out to him.
“I’ll be honest with you, I refuse to be intimate with people who are like demons…. “
The emperor sat up the fallen chair and placed it next to the bed.
“Do you hate me that much? To the point of willing to kill yourself?”
“Or…”
He put his elbows on the armrests and gently put pressure on them. Without even realizing it, he gritted his teeth and his jaws tightened.
“You are originally messy?”
After doing all the cute things on her own, Lily finally looked very scared now.
She was really lethargic and weak. She was bloodied and trembling as she wept. Her hateful eyes scratched at his nerves.
“You can’t look at me with that expression.”
Lifting her bloody chin, Leo stared into Lily’s eyes.
“Did you possess them with these eyes?”
With eyes that capture all the purity of the world with crystals.
“It must have been with these lips that you whispered.”
The sweet words, melted with decorations of purity. And she would have hugged him with those two arms. So that he couldn’t escape the fantasy that she created.
The emperor untied the cravat around his long neck and embraced Lily with both arms. He then gathered her hands behind her back and tied them together.
“Did you think I wouldn’t recognize you?”
On the way back to the chair, he picked up a piece of broken glass and put it in the knuckle of his hand. He sat cross-legged and rolled it in his hand.
The blood-stained piece slowly turned over as if being harassed.
“You and no one else.”
He saw her heading for the grain storage. And the way she walked out, smiling brightly. And he could also see her soul-deprived face as soon as she saw him.
Then he started laughing again. He rubbed his forehead and shook his head lightly.
“Lily …”
Lily didn’t know how badly she had tried to deceive the emperor with her flimsy deception. She alone didn’t know. Then she broke it, threw it, and made a mess.
“Why are you so quiet?”
Lily’s eyes flashed at the blatant sarcasm. As she did so, she kept looking at the door.
Is she thinking about running away again?
The Emperor was suddenly curious. What’s in that little head?
“Lily.”
“…”
“Lily Paulman.”
Lily reluctantly raised her head in response to the gentle pressure and chastisement.
Her eyes were as clear as glass beads, and it was he who was contained within them.
“Come here.”
“…”
“A little closer.”
“…”
“More.”
She was within the reach of his arms.
The Emperor reached out and grabbed Lily’s neck. Pulling hard, he brought their noses together.
The scent of blood and roses entered in a strange mixture. He gazed deeper into her eyes through the dizzying scent.
It was still him that filled her pitch black pupils.
Slowly he lowered his gaze.
Her lips were still red, and slightly opened.
He touched her lower lip with the tip of his thumb, as if looking for the place where he had kissed her before. The touch of his fingertip was duller than what her lips remembered.
Lily did her best to keep the strength in her eyes. If she blinked, the tears that had been building up would come out.
She didn’t want to cry with him grabbing her neck. She didn’t want to see him enjoying himself. So….she persevered.
She held my breath to endure it somehow.
The two shaking eyes were full of fear. But it wasn’t complete fear.
There was a raw anger in the flickering eyes. It was a moment that had the same color of hate. The emperor looked away from her eyes.
He released his grasp from her neck and leaned his head back against the backrest.
There was no need for broken things.
But it was a shame to throw it away. It was the first toy he had received in a long time, but it was also because of the strange sense of déjà vu it added.
Besides, he liked that shell. The face, which was crying out loud, was a masterpiece that overflowed with thrilling pleasure even though it was a disgraceful revenge.
‘So…why don’t I try taming it?’
The fingers that had been resting on his chin for some time slowly rose and stopped at his temple.
The whim that had been repeatedly turned on its head stopped there. Those arrogant eyes pleaded with him, lustful lips asked for his name, and pale skin craved for him. If only he, whom she rejected so much, could become her everything.
What kind of expression will she have on her face when she looks at him then? After a long pondering, the Emperor shook his hand.
“If that’s what you prefer.”
It was a pleasure to match. If he thought of the joy she would bring him, this level of hardship would be well worth enduring. With those words, the Emperor left the room. Lily was left behind again, alone.
She sat on the floor and leaned her head on the edge of the bed as if the emperor had done it. Before she knew it, when the twilight and red light outside the window drenched the room, Lily dipped her toes in the red waves and swirled.
”But I’m still alive…”
The pain rose from the cut. Her whole body burned like it was on fire.
She twisted her loosely bound wrists, fumbling with the hem of the silk and pulled out.
A small amount of relief clung to her fingertips along with a trace of blood.
“Still, I’m alive….”
Thank God.
On the other hand, it was pathetic, so Lily closed her eyes, sighing half in resignation, half in self-mockery.
Gradually, the pain subsided. Her mind also became less intense.
It was about that time that she started to complain.
“No, Shasha.”
“Huh? What do you mean, no?”
The door opened without a knock.
Something was invading through the wide open gap.
Lily frowned narrowly, her eyes unfocused.
It was screaming and running at Lily. It was so small she couldn’t tell if it was a doll or a blob of lace, but it was gorgeous.
“Gotcha. Carriage thief!”
After discovering the plump fingers that poked her, Lily realized it was a human being about half her height.
