Pride and Sanctimony - Chapter 63

Chapter 63 | The Letter

* * *

It was standard fare for students to gather with their closest friends and have a final get together after the banquet’s end.

One’s coming of age ceremony was held much earlier in life, but aside from that, one’s existence would only be acknowledged as a true member of society upon their graduation from the Academy.

And so, everyone wished to hold a small party, expressing their joy and elation of finally crossing that final threshold into true independence.

Naturally Tex, Arthur, and Ruth prepared an after party for Lexus and themselves.

But after the banquet ended, all they saw was Lexus, his entire body stiff and unmoving, standing entirely still until everyone had completely left. They couldn’t even find the words to say to him—all they could do was stand next to him.

[Tex] “Lexus.”

Like he was taking the lead, Tex was finally the one to break through the silence.

Lexus’ movements were robotic and slow as he turned to Tex. Looking at him, Tex just gave an awkward smile, casually shrugging his shoulders.

[Tex] “I know you’re feeling a little wistful now that everything’s over, but I think it’s best if we returned now. Even those ladies left, so we’re the only ones still here.”

[Lexus] “Oh, right. Yeah, let’s go.”

That was when Lexus’ hardened expression finally started to loosen up.

[Lexus] “Thanks for the past few years.” ⁽¹⁾

[Tex] “Yeah, I agree. Thanks for the memories ‘till now. All that’s left is to do what we can once we meet outside in society, right?”

Attending the graduation ceremony was not something you had to do. Even if you didn’t go, you were still considered an alumnus, and were given all the qualifications of any Academy graduate.

However, from the most sincere students to the ones who just barely scraped by, everyone held the belief that the ceremony was the most appropriate send off for the time they’d spent here, and so many chose to attend regardless.

But on the other hand, apparently there were also those who would just decide not to show up, even if they’d made promises to be someone’s partner on that day.

[Arthur] “Yes. Let’s do our best.”

[Tex] “First, let’s get you back to the palace, Lexus.”

[Ruth] “That’s what I was thinking. What are we going to do?”

[Tex] “We can’t wile our time away like we did before, but we’re still friends, and we’re not so scummy that we’d just ditch a friend like that, right?”

[Arthur] “That’s good to hear.”

[Tex] “Do you want us to stay with you?”

At that subtly asked question, Lexus’ expression twisted into a frown. Then, not long after, a voice filled with bitterness came out.

[Lexus] “I’m fine.”

[Tex] “Is there anything we can do to help?”

[Lexus] “No, it’s fine. I can take care of this.”

[Tex] “Alright, but if you need anything, don’t hesitate to contact me. I’ll help you with anything if you need it.”

[Ruth] “Us, too. Though I’m not certain how much help we’ll be.”

[Lexus] “Thanks for saying that. I’ll see you some other time.”

Lexus had already sent off his messenger with an order that he needed him to take care of.

[Lexus] ‘Check to see if she went home.’

[Messenger] ‘Shall I just check?’

He was asking about what he should do should he find that she hadn’t returned to the Baron’s mansion, and if he should open an investigation in that case.

[Lexus] ‘If she’s not at home, then find her.’

She’d already had her life threatened once, and so anything could’ve happened to her. That’s the excuse Lexus gave, convincing himself that he was well within his rights to tear the world apart looking for her.

He’d rather that than confronting the reality that she didn’t come to the graduation ceremony because she didn’t want to see his face.

* * *

Through the night, Lexus couldn’t sleep a wink.

Once the morning came, the news he received indicated that she hadn’t returned home, along with another message saying that his subordinates would begin the search for her, chasing after any clue they could as to where she was.

Where the hell did you go, not even coming home for a second?

All he knew for certain was that she definitely took Goldie with her. There were a few witnesses who claimed they saw a young woman with brown hair and lightly colored eyes walking with a golden dog on a leash.

And hearing that news, Lexus made a face.

Valentia’s hair was actually closer to taupe than a pure brown, and he could say with certainty that her eyes were a light pink color.

However, these were things Lexus only knew because he’d been watching her so closely.

One cannot not deny that in the eyes of others, perhaps her grayish brown hair would appear more plainly than that. If she hadn’t taken Goldie with her, perhaps no one would have remembered her passing through at all.

With his nerves completely shot, Lexus could neither eat nor sleep, causing his anxiety to reach Hugo.

[Hugo] “Your Highness, you must rest. You didn’t sleep for even a minute last night, and you’ll only fall ill at this rate.”

[Lexus] “I’m not tired. And besides, I can stay up all night and feel fine.”

Everything felt so tense and anxious that when he tried to lie down, it felt like he was pinching his nerves. In that case, he’d much rather just sit up.

[Lexus] “I’m fine, so just go back to work.”

[Hugo] “Your Highness.”

[Lexus] “I just want to be alone.”

[Hugo] “Then I will leave some tea for you here.”

[Lexus] “Fine.”

And if by some stroke of luck, just before the evening fell completely, Hugo discovered something very interesting—a letter from Valentia, the most one-sided method of communication.

Unsurprisingly, there were countless letters being sent to the Prince, among which were many love letters. In fact, those probably outweighed any other type of correspondence he received on a daily basis.

Through all that mess, it was only a few days ago that a letter postmarked from ‘Valentia Syner’ actually managed to arrive. It was on the exact day of the graduation ceremony.

It ended up getting stuck in the system, being mistaken as a common letter, so it got neglected and classified separately without ever being passed onto Lexus.

But like a message from the heavens and with a touch of luck, just as he was doing his nightly cleanup, sending the junk mail to the incinerator, Hugo accidentally came across Valentia’s letter.

[Hugo] “Your Highness! Your Highness!”

[Lexus] “What’s happening? What are you running and yelling for at your age, Hugo?”

He’d known Hugo ever since he was a kid, but this was his first time seeing him so flustered and panicked that he raised his voice towards the Prince he served.

[Hugo] “I found a letter from Miss Syner.”

[Lexus] “A letter?”

[Hugo] “It arrived a few days ago apparently. I discovered a few of the workers trying to throw it away.”

[Lexus] “A few days ago? Wait, no, that’s not important. Bring me a letter opener.”

It took everything in him not to immediately tear the envelope open with his bare hands, instead reaching out for a letter opener.

[Hugo] “Oh, I will bring it now.”

And Hugo was so shocked and surprised by what he held in his hands that he totally forgot to bring something as simple as a letter opener with him.

[Lexus] “Actually, you know what, it’s fine. I’ll just open it.”

The letter was sealed with glue instead of wax, and when he opened it, the first thing he noticed was the soft and subtle lavender scent.

Inside was a single sheet of parchment. With shaking hands, Lexus took it out and carefully unfolded it, but what he was met with was mostly empty space—the words catching his eye almost immediately.

His eyes were trembling, shaking as he read every single world with great intensity—such clear and obvious shock in his golden eyes.

—  Your Highness, Imperial Prince.

— I think it’s time we properly organized our relationship.

— It was pleasant.

— Farewell.

He heard the meaning behind this letter loud and clear.

He was not foolish enough to misunderstand what the woman who wrote this meant, and what she meant by sending these words to him through someone else. She was trying to say that she wanted to end their connection like this.

Without even looking at his face.

With just a single piece of paper.

As if what they had was not worth anything more than that.

Unconsciously his hands started to tense, and beneath his strength, the thin and fragile paper started to crumple with a low crushing sound. As if the sound knocked some sense back into him, he looked at the wrinkled paper in his hands.

With another unconscious movement, he took in a sudden breath of air and carefully unfolded the letter, straightening out the parts he had ruined and crushed, but in doing so, the words once again caught his eye.

Four lines.

There were only four lines.

One of which was referring to him with one of his many titles.

There was no real rhyme or reason behind the letter, no pleasantries nor any flowery language. It was a mere notice, one letting him know that it was all over.

And looking down at this letter in his hands, one that didn’t even refer to him by name, a bitter and vain smile grew on his face, but with enough time, that strange look twisted into anger.

For Valentia, the time they’d spent together was easily summarized in four measly lines.

It was ridiculous. He was stunned into silence, feeling angry, bitter, and even betrayed. But despite those intense emotions swirling around inside of him, he could not destroy this letter.

If someone else were to do something like this to him, he would have laughed, tearing apart the letter and tossing it aside without sparing it a second glance.

No, he wouldn’t even have done that. That would take too much effort. He’d just toss it on the floor, where it would either be cleaned up by someone else or forgotten entirely.

And to be honest, there were many women who had sent him letters in the past as a bid to try and sway him to stay with them, and each time, those letters met that exact fate.

So why couldn’t he throw away this small four line letter?

……….Only then could he realize.

This was the only thing he had left of her.

Running away, she even took the dog they used to take care of together with her. He should’ve thought it was strange—Strange how Valentia, who never sought out Goldie first, would suddenly want to take him.

She must’ve been thinking about doing this back when she asked if she could borrow him.

[Hugo] “A few items came with the letter.”

They were classified as ‘precious metals’ when they came in with the many other gifts and goods, stored in a warehouse.

[Lexus] “…Items?”

There was a slight pause in his voice as he spoke.

[Hugo] “Would you like to see them?”

[Lexus] “…..Okay.”

And the moment he saw that small box, about the size of two palms, Lexus felt something sink inside of him like a crushing and foreboding feeling.

Even before the box was opened, he knew exactly what it was.

[Lexus] “Open it.”

With a grim expression, Hugo opened the jewelry box.

And just like he thought, inside was the necklace he had given her during the Fall Banquet. By returning this, that meant that when Valentia wrote this letter, she was being very serious.

It’s really over.

Lexus’ vision blurred, and in a moment, a cold drop of water fell onto the back of his hand.

It could not rain indoors, so as far as he knew, this was the first tear he had ever shed in his life.

What the hell, why do I feel like I’ve lost something?

It did not take Lexus long to realize the source of this overwhelming feeling of loss.

Ah, I get it now. I was abandoned. I really was worth less than a dog to you.

He smirked as a thin and empty laugh left him.

Did I ever mean anything to you at all?

But there was no one around who could answer that question.

The only one who held that truth was gone. She had thrown him away and disappeared, taking a part of him with her as she did.

[Lexus] “Hah…….”

A low hiss escaped from between his lips. He clenched his teeth, but he couldn’t swallow what pain managed to slip through the cracks.

To be abandoned by the one who held his heart was a pain he never knew could be so devastating. It hurt so much, like a wounded beast, injured and near death, trying to hide its pain.

An agony so encompassing that the only thing he could do was cry.

* * *

^{T/N: (1) The phrasing used here is a common one used to celebrate everyone’s hard work up until now. The literal translation makes it sound like a final parting, but it’s much more casual than that.}

「^{_{章の唄おすすめ: “嘘じゃない” by Soushi Sakiyama}} 」