Reason for Marriage - Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Unknown tinnitus

“Do you want a spouse? If you don’t, you can start today. And pray to God. God will surely answer your prayers.”

Minju’s eyes sparkled for the first time exactly one year after she started sitting in front of the church piano every Sunday, accompanying the hymn and enduring the long and boring sermon of the preacher.

He had prayed for a spouse, with a detailed and specific picture of her, with her height, weight, education, salary, background, and parents’ wealth, and he believed that God had sent him the woman he had dreamed of. He continued to boast, spewing out droplets more passionately than ever before.

As if to prove that his words were not lies, the preacher’s beautiful wife was by his side. Amen! Shouts raised the atmosphere of worship to the fullest, and Minju thought that somehow the two seemed like a match made in heaven.

“Minju-ssilll, here you are.”

The preacher handed a white envelope containing her pay to Minju.

“Well, I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

“Why, are you quitting? Easter is next week, it will be hard if you quit all of a sudden…”

“No, it’s not like that…”

The 100,000 won for accompanying the hymn in the envelope was never a small amount for Minju.

Minju had entered a music college but had failed to graduate due to family circumstances, and had difficulties being treated properly as a performer anywhere because she was only a high school graduate.

On weekends, she played wherever there was a piano, regardless of the venue, such as weddings, 1st birthday parties, 60th birthday parties, religious events and live cafes, and worked hard as a piano tuner during the week, but things did not get much better.

The fact that she was rejecting 100,000 won considering her situation meant that she had made a big decision.

“From now on, I want to honor God by playing the piano.”

“Oh, my God, Hallelujah! Thank you Heavenly Father. I didn’t say anything, but I prayed every day and night for Minju to be a faithful child of God. Then should I call you sister Choi Minju-nim[1]?”

Perhaps the preacher was genuinely moved, but he suddenly grabbed Minju’s hands, mixing a dialect that she had never heard him speak before.

100 million every week! Minju knew well that the church was a place where the logic of the market was applied more thoroughly than anywhere else, seeing the believers purchasing in advance a place in heaven or having their filthy sins forgiven with loud offerings during the week.

The cost of being introduced to the perfect husband by God was 100,000 won a week, and thanks to her quick snobbish calculations that it was not a bad investment, Minju achieved a super-quick promotion from a passing hymn accompanist to a member of ‘us, sisters’.

“There’s someone I’ve always wanted to introduce to you, my sister. Wait a minute. We had lunch together and registered a new member… Ah, who do we have here? If you talk about a tiger, it will come.[2] Elder Yoon-nim!”

I haven’t even started praying for my spouse yet, but are you already introducing me to one, God?

Minju turned her head to follow the preacher’s gaze.

However, she soon averted her eyes and murmured to herself.

Oh, my God! My eyes are higher than I can see.131 I’ll tell you in detail about the type of spouse I want, so I’ll pass today.

“Preacher-nim, what do we do? I have another appointment today. I’ll see you on Easter next Sunday.”

“Oh, but you’re still going to eat, aren’t you?”

Leaving the sad preacher behind, Minju left the church like she were running away, and prayed to God as she headed for the place of her next appointment, the small missionary temple belonging to the Jogye Order. 41

God. I confess that rice is much better than church food. And should I stop going to the temple to work part-time just because I became a child of God? No, right? I believe that our Heavenly Father, who is full of love, cannot be so petty. Amen!

Although Minju never had a religion since her birth, when she decided to believe in God, she felt that faith was growing deep inside her heart like a lie.

After all, don’t we have faith, not because the beliefs are trustworthy, but because of our urgency to believe?

Minju was so desperate and eager to believe. Therefore, she had no doubt that God would send her a perfect spouse.

*

*

*

“You’re tuning pianos?”

“Yes.”

“Do you happen to have tinnitus?”

“From time to time, when I’m not feeling very well.”

“What specifically does it sound like?”

“Whew- Sometimes it sounds like the wind… Boom boom! Sometimes I can hear my heart beating really loud.”

“The sound of the wind… the sound of the heart…”

The elderly doctor recorded Minju’s symptoms by typing quickly, and continued to speak slowly.

“There’s no problem with your hearing. Honestly, your hearing is so good that it covers some frequencies that others can’t hear.”

“That’s a relief.”

“You must be a little tired. You have to hear everything even if you don’t want to.”

“There’s nothing I can do for you as it is. As you already know, you should never wear earphones or headphones and let your ears rest as much as possible. Try not to listen to it. Don’t get stressed out. Hearing loss, auditory hallucinations, and tinnitus can all be due to psychological problems.”

The doctor said so while looking carefully at Minju’s hand through a magnifying glass.

Minju grabbed her hands together without realizing it.

It was because of the doctor’s blatant gaze towards her nails, which were cut so close that the flesh under the fingernails was clearly visible, and because of his words, which implied that the cause of her problem was not a disease but psychological.

“Come back to check regularly. I’ll see you in three months.”

She had been to all the hospitals that were famous for hearing loss, but the only story that came back every time was telling her not to get stressed and act irresponsibly.

Doctors could not offer her another remedy. At the same time, they all told her not to forget to come back for regular check-ups, but to Minju it sounded like they were just waiting for the disease to get worse.

Minju left the hospital without saying that the job of a piano tuner, which required to find subtle differences in sounds that others had not noticed and rearrange distorted notes, was only possible with a maximized hearing sensitivity, and that this was just her habit of cutting nails.

Rain was pouring down from the sky, as if making winter come quicker. She felt like her condition, which was not very good due to menstrual cramps, was sinking even heavier under the influence of this gloomy weather.

Just when she thought she should go home and lie with her heating pad or drink a cup of hot cocoa, Minju’s cell phone rang. It was the preacher of the church.

After hesitating for a while, Minju answered the phone.

“Preacher-nim, is there a problem?”

“Oh, well, a pastor whom I know told me that his church needed someone to tune their piano, so I bragged about knowing the best piano tuner in the country.”

“Oh, thank you. As expected, preacher-nim is the only one who cares about me.”

“It’s possible right now, right?”

His words had the underlying message ‘If you refuse, I’ll be very sarcastic! So take care of it!’ Minju wanted to say something wrong, but she just answered ‘Sure, could you introduce me? Please text me the address.’ as she started looking for her car in the parking lot.

Fortunately, Minju’s small white car had the words ‘piano tuner’ written on it with her phone number, so it did not take long to find it

How much did she run along the road next to the Bukhan River, which was covered with fog? Minju’s car was gradually moving out of Seoul to the outskirts of Gyeonggi Province. As she followed the unfamiliar path that she had never been on in her life, expression of impatience appeared on Minju’s face as she relied solely on her mobile navigation system.

“Just hang in there… Just a little bit. We’re almost there.”

As if it had been waiting for this, the battery of her phone ran out as soon as Minju spoke.

“Oh, I’m going crazy.”

Minju searched the seat next to her that had a bread bag and a drink bottle on it, with one hand holding the wheel. Unfortunately, however, there was no charger.

At the moment when she turned her head to look at the back seat and stopped paying attention to the road, Minju’s car shook severely from side to side, and suddenly, the sound of a small bird’s flapping struck her ears.

Flap flap

Minju hit the brake reflexively.

Her car stopped so suddenly on the narrow and curved mountain road where one car could barely pass.

Minju thought it was a tinnitus due to her poor condition, so she patted her ear like she always did and looked carefully into the rearview mirror.

Moisture covering the car window blocked Minju’s view so she could not see anything. Reluctantly, Minju got out of the car.

One step, two steps… Minju slowly walked toward the rear wheel of the car. What if what she heard was not tinnitus? When a terrible image was drawn in her head, Minju’s eyes closed automatically.

Soon after, she reached the rear wheel of the car, caught her breath and plucked up the courage to open her eyes.

Ah…! A shallow sigh came out of Minju’s mouth.

Fortunately, there was no little bird anywhere. After seeing that not a single bug, let alone a bird, was there, Minju looked up with relief.

And at that moment, a mansion that she had not seen before appeared before her eyes.

Minju, who was not sure where to go, started the car again and headed for the mansion.

Flap flap

When Minju’s car left, a small sparrow appeared. The bird soon died, after shivering one last time with its small body that had been crushed by the front wheel of the car.

After the rain, Minju was leaving clear footprints on the slightly muddy ground while walking.

The mansion, which was so beautiful that it was unrealistic to be located in such a hill, overwhelmed those who look at it, as it was much grander than from a distance.

Driven by the strange atmosphere of the mansion, Minju approached as if possessed by something.

There was a man in the garden surrounded by a low fence. Minju tried to make her presence known with a slight cough, but failed. Perhaps the man was so focused on shoveling that he did not even notice that Minju came.

Minju shouted out loud:

“E… Excuse me. Can I ask you something… Excuse me!”

After a while, the man stopped shoveling.

“As far as I know, there is a church around here… It’s called Rock Church. Do you happen to know which way to go?”

The man raised his head with a very slow movement and stared at Minju. And he came closer. Right in front of Minju.

TL notes

[1] To better show the relationship between the characters, I will keep the Korean honorifics: -ssi is the most commonly used for people of the same speech level, -nim is the highest form of honorifics, -a or -ya is used only between close friends and people who are familiar with each other. You can refer to this wiki page for more information.

[2] A Korean proverb, it’s the equivalent of “speaking of the devil”.

[3] A Korean saying, “to have one’s eyes high” means to be picky, to have high standards. It can be for things the person wants to buy or people the person wants to date.

[4] Jogye Order