Retrograde Gaming - Chapter 17
Chapter 17: You’re Suffocating Me to Death
Translator: Henyee Translations
Editor: Henyee Translations
At the northern gates of the City of Divine Protection, in the afternoon, a level 13 Human Knight player just passed by the gates. He wanted to fight monsters on the plains at the northern side of the city in order to farm some money and experience. Since the monsters at the northern plain were a little harder to fight, there weren’t as many people leveling up there—after all, he wasn’t used to fighting over monsters with other players, this was why he always chose to level up at the northern side.
With a ‘shua’, Li Huailin jumped out of the brush a second time, he stopped this Knight player and shouted, “I’m in charge of this mountain, these trees I’ve grown, If you want to pass through here, leave your money as a toll!”
“A robbery?” The knight player was a man in his forties; he laughed heartily. “Young man, you’re robbing people at such a young age, with so much time in your hands, why not fight monsters and level up? Though there might be a little less money, at least you’ve earned it yourself. It’s always more comfortable rather than using the money you robbed.”
“It’s not your f*cking business that I like robbing people,” after Li Huailin said this, he found that it sounded wrong — that he liked robbing… it was as if he had a sickness of some sort. After giving it some thought, he then added, “I need money to use right now, if you’re sensible, then hand over the money you have on you!”
The Knight player was a little astonished, and then, he frowned as he sized up the three-piece outfit on Li Huailin from head to toe. As if he understood something, he suddenly nodded sympathetically. “You’re right, we’re all out here making a living, who has the time when they’re short of money?”
With this said, the Knight player took out 20 Silver Coins. “How about this? I don’t really have much money on me, I’ll give you 20 Silver Coins though it’s not much.”
“Huh?” Li Huailin stared at the Knight player with his mouth agape.
“Although I don’t know what kind of troubles you’ve encountered, committing crimes is never the right path,” the Knight player said these meaningful and heartfelt words as he patted Li Huailin on the shoulders, “Young man, the path of life is still long, I hope you can find the proper path.”
“I…” Li Huailin was really almost driven crazy by this guy.
“Okay, I’m in a hurry to level up, I’ll be off now.” The knight player patted Li Huailin on the shoulders again, and then, he headed towards the leveling grounds in the north.
While looking at the Knight player’s back, Li Huailin truly wasn’t that much of a scum to go up and stab him in the back. He was caught between laughter and tears, he couldn’t help but look at the 20 Silver Coins in his hands. “Am I really gifted with robbing people…”
Just as he was thinking this, he heard footsteps come from behind, without turning back, he quickly shouted, “It’s a robbery! Men on the left, women on the right, lie on your stomachs!”
“Ah!” A delicate cry sounded out, it was a female player this time. Li Huailin was slightly dazzled because the female player looked quite pretty. She also looked quite young, presumably roughly fifteen to sixteen years old, she looked both delicate and adorable, giving Li Huailin the urge of stroking her head.
“Ah, brother-in-law!” Before Li Huailin could speak, the young girl shouted.
“Brother-in-law?” Li Huailin was a little confused, “Young lady, I’m not married yet, you’ve probably mistaken me for someone else.”
“Oh, brother-in-law, you still haven’t met me yet, I’m Red Face Drinks Water, Red Dust Misty Rain’s younger cousin,” Red Face Drinks Water said cheerfully.
Li Huailin immediately recalled the shocking revelation post he read yesterday night. Even though he did take note of it yesterday, he never would’ve expected to meet this person here today.
“Hey, hey, don’t randomly admit someone as your relative. You should know that I have no relationship whatsoever with your older cousin, calling me brother-in-law is too ridiculous,” Li Huailin hurriedly explained.
“Yeah, I naturally know that you just met my older cousin yesterday, but weren’t you also seduced by my older cousin’s devastatingly beautiful features? Why else were you persistently chasing my older cousin? Hmph, don’t you think that I can’t tell.” She said with a sly grin. She also revealed an expression as if she were saying ‘You’ve been exposed, stop pretending’.
“Only suckers would be seduced.” Li Huailin was truly wrongly accused, quite terribly at that.
“Brother-in-law, don’t you worry, I’ve already checked, you’re the only one with hope out of the tens of thousands of men pursuing my older sister1.” Red Face Drinks Water continued to talk all on her own, “Yesterday, my older sister agreed to let you touch her breasts, she’s never let anyone touch her body, not even in games. You’re the first person I’ve seen in seventeen years that touched my older sister’s breasts. How are they? My older sister’s breasts are very large and comfortable, right?”
“Yeah…” Li Huailin nodded instinctively, and then, he immediately felt that something was wrong. “I don’t care if they’re large or comfortable, but please explain to your older cousin for me, I really have no intention of pursuing her…”
“Oh, I understand.” Red Face Drinks Water suddenly hammered her hand with her fist as if she were in a light-bulb moment. “I’ve seen this move in books, this is called ‘playing hard-to-get’, a high-level tactic boys use to chase after girls. Brother-in-law is impressive as expected! To confess in front of over ten thousand people yesterday and now a ‘play hard-to-get’ maneuver today, you’re truly deserving to be the brother-in-law I acknowledged.”
“What sort of unhealthy books are you reading at such a young age? Can’t you think about this problem with a normal line of thought?” Li Huailin couldn’t help but say out loud.
“Ah, brother-in-law, brother-in-law, don’t get so worked up, I’m on the same battlefront as you are.” Red Face Drinks Water looked at Li Huailin, who looked to be a little anxious, she explained immediately, “I’m not against you pursuing my older cousin and I won’t tell her that you’re playing hard-to-get. Brother-in-law, don’t you worry, I’ll help you!”
“…”
“Brother-in-law, aren’t you very touched?”
“I want to cry…” Li Huailin put his hand on his forehead in a gesture of speechlessness.
“Brother-in-law, you don’t have to be moved to tears, I’ll help you. However, I can only provide you with my older cousin’s information as well as report to you on my older cousin’s moments1, but mainly, you’ll have to be the proactive one. There really are a lot of people pursuing my older cousin,” Red Face Drinks Water kindly reminded him.
“…”
“Brother-in-law, shouldn’t you repay me for my kindness?” Red Face Drinks Water said this as she looked at Li Huailin with an expression filled with expectation.
“Sure, sure, tell me what you want.” Li Huailin just wanted to get rid of her as soon as possible, she was genuinely almost driving him mad.
“Brother-in-law, do you have any high-quality equipment for Priests? Like a high-quality skill book for Priests… things of that sort,” since Red Face Drinks Water was a Priest, she asked this.
“I don’t have sh*t, just look at my destitute appearance, do I look like a rich person to you?” Li Huailin proudly displayed his newbie three-piece set, “If I really were rich, do you think I’d be here robbing people?”
“Robbing people? Brother-in-law, so you’re really here to rob people?” Red Face Drinks Water was slightly stunned, although she heard Li Huailin say that he was going to commit robbery earlier, she simply assumed it was a joke. She never expected it to really be the case.
“Yes, you see, I’m so poor that I can only commit robbery. What could I possibly give you?” Li Huailin shrugged, “I’m still busy with robbing, you go level up by yourself, I won’t…”
“Robbery sounds fun!” Before Li Huailin finished his words, Red Face Drinks Water suddenly said this with stars sparkling in her eyes, “I’ve never robbed since childhood, brother-in-law please take me robbing!”
“I…” Li Huailin really wished to slap himself twice.
“Haha! Brother-in-law and I can be like ‘Bonnie and Clyde’, we’ll definitely be successful in every robbery!” Red Face Drinks Water already started to fantasize about her great future prospects.
“Hey, hey, Drinks Water, listen to me.” Li Huailin tried to dispel Red Face Drinks Water’s line of thought of going on a robbery with him. It was simply because he didn’t truly want to rob people, he just wanted to die—however, how could he clearly explain this? He could only account the harms that come with robbery, “Robbing people is an extremely technical job, not only does it require skill, but it also accompanies a certain degree of danger.”
“Don’t you worry brother-in-law, I’m quite smart! As long as you teach me once, I’ll immediately be able to master it,” Red Face Drinks Water immediately responded, “And, I’m not afraid of any danger since I’m quite capable of fighting—I’m already level 15 after all—only the guild master and my older cousin has a higher level than me in the guild.”
“What sort of sin did I commit—why can’t I get rid of this gal?” Li Huailin was really speechless right now.
After some deliberating, he realized he couldn’t get through to her. He might as well let this gal die three to four times with him—she’ll probably give up on her own by then.
“Alright, since you truly want to learn, I’ll teach you the profound essence of robbery.” Li Huailin might as well do things this way.
“Yay! Yay!” Red Face Drinks Water shouted in an unusually happy manner.
