The Greatest Secret Agent of All Time - Chapter 26

Chapter 26: I, Yun Zhonghe, Am Invincible!

Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio

Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio

Lady Cold Jade, who was assailed by Yun Zhonghe’s flirtatious behavior, had remained unresponsive the entire time. But the look she gave Yun Zhonghe was the same she would give a dead man.

“Hahahaha…” Jing Wubian burst out laughing. He leaned back to lie down on the big chair and clapped loudly as he said, “Interesting. Interesting. I thought I was already crazy enough. I didn’t expect someone even crazier to turn up.”

Jing Wubian was exceptionally angry, for Lady Cold Jade had been his fantasy since he was a teenager.

But at the same time, he also felt his spirits soaring.

For he had detected a familiar scent on Yun Zhonghe. That was an aura of a psychopath, and it was much to his liking.

Especially with that peculiar look of Yun Zhonghe’s, it was just so bizarre. He twisted in his position a little and instantly winced from a twinge of pain. Instinctively, he wanted to lift his glass, but instead put it down with too much lingering fear in his heart. He did not dare to drink water, nor did he dare to drink wine.

Then he yelled, “Come on, my men, the show has begun.”

A moment later, several bulky men who were more than two meters tall came in with an extremely large cage.

This cage was so big that metal could not be used for its construction. It was only able to be made out of wood.

“Howl…”

Even from a distance away, roars could be heard coming from the cage, which housed a tiger.

The cage was carried to the middle of the hall and the cover was suddenly pulled aside. Indeed, there was a big tiger inside. It was much bigger than the tigers found on Earth and would definitely weigh more than a thousand pounds.

With this one roar, it felt like the whole hall was shaking, and even the glasses on the table were jumping.

“This tiger of mine has gone hungry for several days. Today, it can finally break its fast and eat some meat,” Jing Wubian said. Then he clapped again.

Suddenly, a small, thin man was dragged in. He seemed to weigh only about 70 to 80 pounds. The moment he laid eyes on the big tiger, he was so frightened that he peed in his pants.

“This wretched punk said something bad about me in the streets. By the way, what kind of bad things did he say about me?” Jing Wubian began to scratch his head as he tried to recall.

“Right. He said that I was quite handsome… Oh my god, he actually said I was quite handsome?” Jing Wubian roared in anger, saying, “How can someone say something like this? I’m clearly a man of unmatched beauty. For him to say that I’m quite handsome, is it even right for him to insult me like this? Look into your heart. Doesn’t it hurt your conscience for you to say something like this?”

“Throw him in. Throw him in…”

At Jing Wubian’s command, the scrawny rascal was thrown into the cage.

“Ah… Ah… Ah…”

Blood splattered, and repeated miserable cries were heard. This man was being eaten alive by the tiger, and it was a horrible sight to behold.

But the tiger, on the contrary, was not full enough, and this pushed it to display a greater degree of ferocity.

“A man must live to be sincere, not tell lies, and treat people with honesty.” Jing Wubian cast his gaze at Yun Zhonghe and said, “My tiger has eaten one person and is just about half-full. After adding you, it will be almost completely full. Now, let me ask you, am I handsome?”

“Very handsome, extremely handsome. If being handsome is a sin, then you would have to be banished to the eighteenth level of hell,” Yun Zhonghe said.

Jing Wubian said, “See, see? This is what I call a sincere person, a person with a conscience.”

Yun Zhonghe said, “But it’s a pity that you still lose to me by a little. I’m the one who is so handsome that my looks are a cruelty to the humans on Earth. I’m the one who’s so handsome that my looks could overthrow states and cities, turn everything topsy turvy, and bring about changes to this world.”

Screw you, that was really shameless.

Jing Wubian said, “Then do you still think that you are very compatible with Sister Cold?”

Yun Zhonghe said, “Out of the five elements she is short on water, and my name has it. And she also happens to have what I lack. We are a match made in heaven.”

While speaking, Yun Zhonghe quietly stepped out his right leg. The hem of his tattered robe, full of holes, fluttered in the wind, half exposing his long, dirty leg and messy leg hair.

This beggar was actually teasing her, flirting with her by showing his long legs, all in front of the public? And as he was teasing, he was also casting amorous glances at Lady Cold Jade with a look of delight on his face.

Suddenly, Jing Wubian felt even more excited. He felt everything was becoming more interesting. But he was also much closer to bursting into a rage.

“There are a lot of people feigning madness and acting like idiots these days, but there aren’t many who are really as crazy as you.”

“Throw him in, feed the tiger,” Jing Wubian ordered.

A sturdy man stepped forward. Then, as though handling a chicken, he threw Yun Zhonghe into the cage that contained the big tiger.

This Jing Wubian really was worthy of being called a lunatic. He was seriously temperamental. At any point, he could turn on a person and feed him to his tiger.

Such a person should be locked up in a mental hospital.

Everyone instinctively turned their heads away. The sight of a tiger eating a person alive was too cruel, after all. And Yun Zhonghe, who weighed more than a hundred pounds, happened to be just the right size for this thousand-pound tiger to fill itself on.

Sure enough, after Yun Zhonghe had just been thrown into the cage, the tiger froze for a while. Then suddenly, it bowed down sharply and began to poise itself for action. It was going to pounce at any second.

This was a huge tiger that weighed a thousand pounds. That big, bloody mouth could easily chew Yun Zhonghe into pieces and swallow him.

Even if it was just its huge claws suddenly grabbing onto Yun Zhonghe, the tiger could tear his small body into pieces, not to mention the damage its bite could do.

At this moment of extreme urgency, Yun Zhonghe actually seemed very excited and felt an adrenaline rush.

This man was absolutely neurotic. What he said previously was undoubtedly right. The spies in the City of Torn Gust were definitely dancing with swords at all times.

And it seemed as though this psychopath was enjoying this particular moment.

“Come on, come on…” Yun Zhonghe hooked his fingers and said, “Master Tiger, come and play, come and play…”

All of a sudden, the people around the hall were dumbstruck again.

I… Holy sh*t.

What rock had such a flirtatious person, who courted death so fervently, burst out of?

Initially, the tiger intended to pounce, but when it saw his attitude, it began to waver instead.

This was what beasts were originally like, inherently very suspicious. If you turned your back on it, it was bound to pounce on you right away and bite you to death.

So never, ever turn your back on such fierce tigers and wild beasts.

But if you were to stand eye to eye with a tiger and take on an aggressive stance, it would instead become cautious.

“Howl…” The tiger let out another startling roar all of a sudden. This was its usual trick. First, it would intimidate you, and then it would scare the wits out of you.

The average person would have been paralyzed with fear after being roared at by a tiger like that.

“Sonic spa by a fierce beast, so exciting, so comfortable, do it again. Do it again…” Yun Zhonghe said, completely entranced.

The tiger felt that it had been fiercely challenged, so it opened its bloody mouth wide and suddenly wanted to pounce.

It was also at that time that something happened.

“Boom-boom-boom…” Both of Yun Zhonghe’s hands were suddenly ablaze, illuminating the whole hall.

Wild beasts were naturally afraid of fire, and tigers were no exception.

Seeing Yun Zhonghe’s two blazing arms, it suddenly froze and put a halt to the momentum of its frontal attack. But it had still not reacted in time to shut its bloody mouth.

At that time, Yun Zhonghe tossed a small object that he held in his hand. It suddenly flew right into the tiger’s mouth.

“Bang!” A slight explosive sound was heard, then a big pill exploded.

The strong anesthetic inside exploded and rapidly surged into the tiger’s blood vessels exposed by the wound.

This was a recipe provided by Yun Zhonghe, and the pair of siblings, Xu Anting and Xu Antiing, had spent several days refining the anesthetic with their own hands. They had used hundreds of pounds of Cyclea polypetala Dunn to refine a whole dozen grams of super-strong anesthetic. It was enough to knock out an elephant, let alone a tiger.

It exploded inside the tiger’s mouth, traveled along the blood vessels, and within seconds it entered the brain.

What could be seen, then, was the big tiger in a wobbly and shaky stance. It took a few more steps towards Yun Zhonghe.

Its eyes were looking more and more disoriented, while its body was becoming limper and limper.

One step, two steps, three steps, four steps, five steps…

Just then, Yun Zhonghe struck the pose of an immortal and chanted indifferently, “Fall, fall, fall…”

Then, the tiger fell down directly in front of Yun Zhonghe. It could no longer close its widely-opened mouth, and saliva flowed all over the ground.

The entire hall was in complete shock.

This beggar in front of them had subdued a tiger?

A 1,000-pound tiger?

This was just too unbelievable.

What the hell was going on here? It was just too amazing, was it not?

Yun Zhonghe patted out the flames on his arms. This was, of course, also a small little trick used by charlatans, which was almost the same as reaching one’s bare hands into a pan of hot oil.

“Clap, clap, clap, clap…” Jing Wubian did not get angry. On the contrary, his eyes were shining brightly, and he clapped his hands vigorously.

Jing Wubian was most fond of such tricks. Thus, in his residence, there were as many as a hundred of such charlatans.

Now that he was in solitary confinement, he was unable to go out every day, so he could only watch the tricks that these charlatans performed.

And this show that had just happened was too exciting.

A mere beggar had actually exterminated a giant, thousand-pound tiger so effortlessly.

“Good show, good show, that was so exciting. This was a pretty good trick you had. Really, it was pretty good…” Jing Wubian said, “It’s been a long time since I’ve had so much fun. In that case, let’s have some more fun. Men, lift it up!”

A moment later, several burly men brought up a huge cauldron. And beneath it, there was still a flame blazing away.

The huge cauldron was filled with oil, which was now tumbling about at its boiling point.

The entire hall suddenly felt hot.

It was a scalding cauldron of oil.

Jing Wubian said, “Yun AoTian, now you have two choices. Choice number one, you can immediately kneel before Lady Cold Jade and lick the soles of her shoes like a dog, saying you’ve done wrong and that you should not have behaved like a toad lusting after a swan. This way, I will spare your life and take you under my wing as my patron. After all, you did put on a great show just now.”

“For choice number two, you like courting your own death, don’t you? So just jump into that cauldron of oil and fry yourself alive. Fry yourself thoroughly, fry yourself to death. In this case, I will write off the matters of you teasing Lady Cold Jade and offending me.”

“Quickly think about it. Ten, nine, eight, seven…”

It ended up with Jing Wubian not finishing the countdown at all.

Without another word, Yun Zhonghe first did some warm-ups. Then, starting off with a short run, he sprinted towards the boiling oil that was tumbling about in the hot cauldron.

He shouted as he ran and also made a deathbed confession along the way.

“Miss Cold Jade, even if I have to throw myself into this cauldron of hot oil, I will never change my mind. A true warrior is one who dares to face his feelings.”

“Before I die, I have only one thing to say to you.”

“Miss Cold Jade, I would love to sleep with you.”

That said, with a graceful diving posture, he suddenly plunged into the flaming cauldron that was filled with tumbling hot oil. The pressure he exerted created a perfect splash of oil.

Across the room, there was dead silence!

***